Dictionary for Womens personal ads

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS



40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker




WOMEN'S ENGLISH:



1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?






MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay




And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.




LS's Tip of the week
ESSENTIAL OILS aren't essential unless you're an engine, a gearbox or a twat

LOL niceone.

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"Trulli was slowing down like he wanted to have a picnic" LOL

> However when she is menstruating, she prefers a
> man doused in petrol and set on fire, with
> scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump
> shoved up his backside.

ROFL!!

gary42 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> > However when she is menstruating, she prefers a
> > man doused in petrol and set on fire, with
> > scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump
> > shoved up his backside.
>
> ROFL!!

ROFL²!!

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"I'm an artist, the track is my canvas, and the car is my brush."

Senna schreef:
-------------------------------------------------------
> gary42 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > > However when she is menstruating, she prefers
> a
> > > man doused in petrol and set on fire, with
> > > scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump
> > > shoved up his backside.
> >
> > ROFL!!
>
> ROFL²!!

√(ROFL²)
-------------x(ROFL²)
36x38-1368

√(ROFL²)
-------------x(ROFL²) +1
36x38-1368

1
-----------------------------
(√(ROFL²) )
ln(-------------x(ROFL²) +1)
(36x38-1368 )

ROFL² - ROFL = ROFL

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did your birth certificate come with an apology letter from Durex?

no it doesnt, it equals ROFL² - ROFL

I wanted a t-shirt with the Womens english on it, but me mam didnt like it much...

WTF?

Just plain old ROFL from me thanks.

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Everyone knows that million-to-one chances happen 9 times out of 10; indeed, it's a common requirement in fairy tales. If the human didn't have to overcome huge odds, what would be the point? Terry Pratchett - The Science Of Discworld

GPGSL S5 Race driver for IED.

lol

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Nice post LS

That deserves my special

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

Agh that does my head in.


.

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zeppelin101 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> no it doesnt, it equals ROFL² - ROFL

Meh, I have been always hopeless with maths anyway!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did your birth certificate come with an apology letter from Durex?

bigears schrieb:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ROFL² - ROFL = ROFL


ROFL²
----- = ROFL
ROFL

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Um dois três quatro cinco seis sete oito nove dez
Eins zwei drei vier fünf sechs sieben acht neun zehn
One two three four five six seven eight nine ten
Один два три четыре пять шесть семь восемь девять десять

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! MATHS!!!













































I thought I left that behind in 6th Form!!!!!

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Everyone knows that million-to-one chances happen 9 times out of 10; indeed, it's a common requirement in fairy tales. If the human didn't have to overcome huge odds, what would be the point? Terry Pratchett - The Science Of Discworld

GPGSL S5 Race driver for IED.

bigears Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ROFL² - ROFL = ROFL


ROFL² - ROFL = ROFL (ROFL -1)

-1 ∫ F(1) dROFL -> -1 [ROFL]-[ROFL x 0] = -ROFL

I'd do a vector integral but can get the signs to show up :P

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my brain hurts.

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RIP Jules, never to be forgotten. #KeepFightingMichael