Nidge-
My favourite part of this site was describing how to race online...
1. Make up a really cool, original and funny pseudonym for yourself, like 'F1 Hyperdriver', 'Powerslide', 'Peter Greaves' or 'Bernie Ecclestone'.
2. Join a Monza race with 5 minutes of practice to go.
3. Type 'PO'. This is very important, as it gives you right of way.
4. Move straight out onto the racing line.
5. Spin your Lotus or Ferrari at every other corner. It doesn't matter if you get in the way of anyone; this is only practice.
6. Ignore the flags being waved to signify the end of the session and carry on trying to get a clear lap in. Nobody will mind waiting. In fact, they probably enjoy watching you. They surely realize that you have a special talent, but you're just having trouble with your new pedals.
7. Alternatively, stay sitting in your car in the pit lane long after the session has finished. This generally recognized as being the safest place to leave the car for long periods, for example while you fetch another beer from the fridge.
8. Make sure you are using the F10 view or that your mirrors are turned off (you have trouble getting 25 FPS on your hardware and anyway, it's their responsibility to keep clear of you if you're in front).
9. Join the grid. Waggle your wheel and rev the engine.
10. Remind everyone to be careful into turn one.
11. Type 'GLA' or maybe 'Good Luck All' if you want people to know that you can spell and type at the same time.
12. Apply full power, spin wildly, take out a third of the grid. Blame the Lotus beside you.
13. Recover, drive too fast into turn one, take out another third of the grid. Blame the Lotus in front of you. Rant at them using chat: use at least three grade-A swear words while calling them an idiot, so that people will know that it wasn't your fault.
14. Shift-R onto the track, taking out the final third of the grid.
Start to chase the pack down; you'll soon catch them. Now this is racing! Surf the Armco around Lesmo 1.
15. Brake too late into the Parabolica, spin across the sand and into the barrier.
16. Retire (claiming that the phone started to ring). Clearly, you were just unlucky that time.
17. Return to VROC and give driving tips to the newbies until 5 minutes before the next Monza race.