Social Experiment : Online Dating
Posted by Locke Cole
Type 4 – Genuine member, genuine profile
Real profiles, written by real people… where’s the problem? Is this not the business of online dating? Answer: Yeah… but only if they’re used in a genuine way. What if genuine profiles are being used to ‘hook’ new members with promises of fake interest, whilst their owners are unaware of the fact?
I recently received an e-mail from a girl on one site which I’m pretty sure was genuine. It was rather abrupt, requesting that I do not e-mail her again because she’s not interested in “guys who only talk about sex.” Now; I have NEVER e-mailed this girl in my life, and can only assume that the site has sent a fake e-mail from ‘me’ with a crude generic message attached. I have already said that there are legal issues with this, and I will be looking into it in greater detail in a future article.
For now, though, I am conscious that I have rambled on a bit this week, so I will bring it to a close. Hopefully I’ve been able to alert would-be Romeos that some of their potential Julliets might not be all that they appear. My best tip is to approach ALL profiles under the protection of a heavy veil of cynicism. If a profile manages to filter through in spite of your shields, then it might just be genuine. But I warn you, I suspect they’re in the minority.
Coming up next:
People who sign up to dating sites for genuine reasons are always very careful about their communications with others on the site. After all; they wouldn’t want to offend a potential match. But me? I can say whatever I like, to whoever I like. I wonder what sort of responses I can stir up…? All suggestions welcome! Let the social experiment begin…
K*bots UK, specialist providers of 'fun science' Curriculum Enhancement days for Primary and Secondary schools in Britain.
Please find us on [en.wikipedia.org] for more information.
Real profiles, written by real people… where’s the problem? Is this not the business of online dating? Answer: Yeah… but only if they’re used in a genuine way. What if genuine profiles are being used to ‘hook’ new members with promises of fake interest, whilst their owners are unaware of the fact?
I recently received an e-mail from a girl on one site which I’m pretty sure was genuine. It was rather abrupt, requesting that I do not e-mail her again because she’s not interested in “guys who only talk about sex.” Now; I have NEVER e-mailed this girl in my life, and can only assume that the site has sent a fake e-mail from ‘me’ with a crude generic message attached. I have already said that there are legal issues with this, and I will be looking into it in greater detail in a future article.
For now, though, I am conscious that I have rambled on a bit this week, so I will bring it to a close. Hopefully I’ve been able to alert would-be Romeos that some of their potential Julliets might not be all that they appear. My best tip is to approach ALL profiles under the protection of a heavy veil of cynicism. If a profile manages to filter through in spite of your shields, then it might just be genuine. But I warn you, I suspect they’re in the minority.
Coming up next:
People who sign up to dating sites for genuine reasons are always very careful about their communications with others on the site. After all; they wouldn’t want to offend a potential match. But me? I can say whatever I like, to whoever I like. I wonder what sort of responses I can stir up…? All suggestions welcome! Let the social experiment begin…
Over the last week, I have been sending e-mails from two profiles to several different girls. I "borrowed" a mate's facebook pics (it's not illegal, after all) to create a fake profile, and for experimentation processes, have been sending out two different types of mail. One is a standard "nice" wishy-washy mail, and the other is a tongue-in-cheek obnoxious mail in the style of a personal ad.
They are as follows:-
Standard mail 1
Hi. I read your profile and think you sound like a nice girl. I'd like to get to know you a bit so please mail me back, and we'll chat.
Standard mail 2
Wanted: A girl who can deliver an awesome medium-rare steak, and change a tyre whilst I watch the football. Must like cats and cars. Good sense of humour essential, as my jokes are crap. Experienced candidate preferred. Stick-thin Barbie dolls need not apply. - Mail me.
---
I think we all know which mail will receive the most replies. But this is a controlled test to provide evidence for what many of us already suspect: that being "nice" is a waste of time on dating sites.
K*bots UK, specialist providers of 'fun science' Curriculum Enhancement days for Primary and Secondary schools in Britain.
Please find us on [en.wikipedia.org] for more information.
They are as follows:-
Standard mail 1
Hi. I read your profile and think you sound like a nice girl. I'd like to get to know you a bit so please mail me back, and we'll chat.
Standard mail 2
Wanted: A girl who can deliver an awesome medium-rare steak, and change a tyre whilst I watch the football. Must like cats and cars. Good sense of humour essential, as my jokes are crap. Experienced candidate preferred. Stick-thin Barbie dolls need not apply. - Mail me.
---
I think we all know which mail will receive the most replies. But this is a controlled test to provide evidence for what many of us already suspect: that being "nice" is a waste of time on dating sites.
Locke, I have to say your posts here have been very insightful and informative, and you really seem to have an excellent insight into the whole online dating thing and how Internet law applies to it. Great stuff.
It also pleases me to see that a lot of your advice(particularly about the heavy veil of cynicism) is stuff I'd already guessed was the case(If it seems too good to be true then it is, etc).
A couple of days ago one of these "webcam girls" friend requested me on Facebook, which surprised me a bit; one of the reasons I stopped using Bebo was because of the truckloads of fake "cam" profiles kicking about on it and friend requesting you. I thought Facebook might be more immune to that kind of thing, but meh, if a site becomes big enough then these kind of things will happen on it I guess. And it won't be stopping me using Facebook anyway; no matter how bad it gets, it's still miles better than Bebo was.
It also pleases me to see that a lot of your advice(particularly about the heavy veil of cynicism) is stuff I'd already guessed was the case(If it seems too good to be true then it is, etc).
A couple of days ago one of these "webcam girls" friend requested me on Facebook, which surprised me a bit; one of the reasons I stopped using Bebo was because of the truckloads of fake "cam" profiles kicking about on it and friend requesting you. I thought Facebook might be more immune to that kind of thing, but meh, if a site becomes big enough then these kind of things will happen on it I guess. And it won't be stopping me using Facebook anyway; no matter how bad it gets, it's still miles better than Bebo was.
Part 3 - Making contact
I have to say, the readership deteriorated massively after the first week. Perhaps I simply didn't make it interesting enough.
Ah well, here's hoping that this week I'm back on form, because I'm tackling the most exciting part of online dating: making contact with another Human being. This term is used loosely, of course, but let's assume for now that we know how to spot auto-generated e-mails and weed out the genuine ones.
This week, I've been e-mailing literally hundreds of site members. This means, by the way, that I have indeed parted with my cash and signed up as a full member. They've got me for 3 months - just long enough to write my research, so let's hope I make it worth reading! As posted above, I've been sending out two different styles of e-mail. After a few revisions, however, my "standard e-mail" reads like this:-
Title - Wanted: A girl who...
[Main body]
...can deliver an awesome medium-rare steak whilst I watch the football, and who doesn't mind sharing my attention with "boy's toys". Must like cats and cars. Good sense of humour essential, as my jokes are crap. Experienced candidate preferred. Stick-thin Barbie dolls need not apply.
Mail me. x
---
If this did not elicit a response within a few days, I then followed up with a second e-mail as follows:-
Hi,
I know you've had my e-mail in your inbox for a few days, wondering "Should I or shouldn't I e-mail him back?" Well, you probably should. Did something put you off? Was it the steak? OK, we'll compromise on that... you get to do what you like the rest of the week, so long as we agree that Sunday is steak day. I'll even make you something with chocolate in it for dessert. Sound fair?
---
Like I said above, I've been using two similar profiles and sending two different types of e-mail this week. I must have mailed about a hundred girls, some of them whom would have received both e-mails but on different days. My results are as follows:-
Standard mail 1: (Wishy-washy neutral 'nice' mail) 0 replies. That's right - absolutely nothing.
Standard mail 2: ('Personal ad'-style, above) 15 replies.
Follow-up e-mail: (When SM2 did not elicit a response) A further 3 replies.
So out of approximately 100 girls, 18 mailed me back - which I will round to call a success rate of 1-in-5. I've no idea how this compares to other peoples' experience of online dating, but I reckon it's pretty damn good.
I will update again in about half an hour, letting you know what happened next. It's been an interesting week!
K*bots UK, specialist providers of 'fun science' Curriculum Enhancement days for Primary and Secondary schools in Britain.
Please find us on [en.wikipedia.org] for more information.
I have to say, the readership deteriorated massively after the first week. Perhaps I simply didn't make it interesting enough.
Ah well, here's hoping that this week I'm back on form, because I'm tackling the most exciting part of online dating: making contact with another Human being. This term is used loosely, of course, but let's assume for now that we know how to spot auto-generated e-mails and weed out the genuine ones.This week, I've been e-mailing literally hundreds of site members. This means, by the way, that I have indeed parted with my cash and signed up as a full member. They've got me for 3 months - just long enough to write my research, so let's hope I make it worth reading! As posted above, I've been sending out two different styles of e-mail. After a few revisions, however, my "standard e-mail" reads like this:-
Title - Wanted: A girl who...
[Main body]
...can deliver an awesome medium-rare steak whilst I watch the football, and who doesn't mind sharing my attention with "boy's toys". Must like cats and cars. Good sense of humour essential, as my jokes are crap. Experienced candidate preferred. Stick-thin Barbie dolls need not apply.
Mail me. x
---
If this did not elicit a response within a few days, I then followed up with a second e-mail as follows:-
Hi,
I know you've had my e-mail in your inbox for a few days, wondering "Should I or shouldn't I e-mail him back?" Well, you probably should. Did something put you off? Was it the steak? OK, we'll compromise on that... you get to do what you like the rest of the week, so long as we agree that Sunday is steak day. I'll even make you something with chocolate in it for dessert. Sound fair?
---
Like I said above, I've been using two similar profiles and sending two different types of e-mail this week. I must have mailed about a hundred girls, some of them whom would have received both e-mails but on different days. My results are as follows:-
Standard mail 1: (Wishy-washy neutral 'nice' mail) 0 replies. That's right - absolutely nothing.
Standard mail 2: ('Personal ad'-style, above) 15 replies.
Follow-up e-mail: (When SM2 did not elicit a response) A further 3 replies.
So out of approximately 100 girls, 18 mailed me back - which I will round to call a success rate of 1-in-5. I've no idea how this compares to other peoples' experience of online dating, but I reckon it's pretty damn good.
I will update again in about half an hour, letting you know what happened next. It's been an interesting week!
Are you in a relationship right now? If not, I have a strong feeling something is going to come out of this, like the plot of a cheesy rom-com film. :P
Unexpectedly, but almost expectedly.
Jenson drives it like he owns it; Lewis drives it like he stole it
Unexpectedly, but almost expectedly.
OK, so I've now made contact with some real people. I've got 18 e-mails waiting in my inbox from girls who have responded to my initial mail. What to do next? First off, put up the shields (the "heavy veil of cynicism"
and sift through the profiles of the girls who "sent" them.
Three mails did not mention what I had written at all, and asked me if I wanted to join a webcam chat. I deleted these.
One told me politely that she wasn't interested and could I stop mailing her, which made me chuckle.
One didn't even seem to be a response to my mail, and was just a random generic e-mail. I'm thinking this one was possibly an automated reply function on a fake profile.
So, with the dross weeded out, I was left with 12 e-mails from girls who had replied. However, another half of them were just dull messages like "aw thanx sweet xx" and nothing more, which I chose to ignore. There's no point in testing responses with real people when a trained baboon could have replicated the results just the same.
Six e-mails, I'm left with! Approximately a 1-in-20 success rate, which sounds far more realistic than the above-mentioned figure.
But hold on a moment - these are six e-mails from genuine people, I'm assuming. I'm making a bold statement here - and please do correct me if I'm wrong - but this e-mail malarkey seems to have... worked.
The question is, what next? I'm not too fussed about meeting any of these girls, so I reckon we should have some fun! Please post your suggestions for what I should mail them with, and we'll see what (if anything) works.
---
So, my parting comment for this week: If you're serious about the whole online dating thing, be prepared for 95% of your communications to fail. However, in that remaining 5% there might just be something you can work with. The generic 'nice' approach doesn't work; your first contact with a girl should be memorable and humorous. If you nail those two criteria, you should be on to a winner straight away.
K*bots UK, specialist providers of 'fun science' Curriculum Enhancement days for Primary and Secondary schools in Britain.
Please find us on [en.wikipedia.org] for more information.
and sift through the profiles of the girls who "sent" them.Three mails did not mention what I had written at all, and asked me if I wanted to join a webcam chat. I deleted these.
One told me politely that she wasn't interested and could I stop mailing her, which made me chuckle.
One didn't even seem to be a response to my mail, and was just a random generic e-mail. I'm thinking this one was possibly an automated reply function on a fake profile.
So, with the dross weeded out, I was left with 12 e-mails from girls who had replied. However, another half of them were just dull messages like "aw thanx sweet xx" and nothing more, which I chose to ignore. There's no point in testing responses with real people when a trained baboon could have replicated the results just the same.
Six e-mails, I'm left with! Approximately a 1-in-20 success rate, which sounds far more realistic than the above-mentioned figure.
But hold on a moment - these are six e-mails from genuine people, I'm assuming. I'm making a bold statement here - and please do correct me if I'm wrong - but this e-mail malarkey seems to have... worked.
The question is, what next? I'm not too fussed about meeting any of these girls, so I reckon we should have some fun! Please post your suggestions for what I should mail them with, and we'll see what (if anything) works.
---
So, my parting comment for this week: If you're serious about the whole online dating thing, be prepared for 95% of your communications to fail. However, in that remaining 5% there might just be something you can work with. The generic 'nice' approach doesn't work; your first contact with a girl should be memorable and humorous. If you nail those two criteria, you should be on to a winner straight away.
Before we assist you, have you looked at the photos of these girls?
I think this factor would heavily influence what would/could go further with this.
ie, larger less attractive girls might jump opportunities more than others.
Jenson drives it like he owns it; Lewis drives it like he stole it
I think this factor would heavily influence what would/could go further with this.
ie, larger less attractive girls might jump opportunities more than others.
This thread is worthless without said pics.
[www.mediafire.com] Some say you should click it, you know you want to.
[www.gp4central.com] <----GP4 Central
[www.mediafire.com] Some say you should click it, you know you want to.
[www.gp4central.com] <----GP4 CentralHang on. If the profiles and replies from these girls are actually genuine, don't you think it'd be foul play to play them about?
I am thinking he could be silly to blow an opportunity, excuse the pun. There could be some REALLY nice girls here on the other end.
Jenson drives it like he owns it; Lewis drives it like he stole it
Overall this thread and it's research is pretty damn good. It's pretty much confirmed some suspicions of mine. However as dark, dingey and useless as dating sites generally are, it's clear that there are some genuine people on them who are actively trying to "find someone".
Personally I don't think these people should be "had fun" with. Especially since there if is no intention of having any kind of relationship. It's sliding to the wrong side of taking advantage of the vulnerable towards bullying.
Fair dos... treat the scams, bogus profiles, replies etc with due contempt... but if you suspect someone is genuine it's only fair to treat them with a bit of consideration.
Personally I don't think these people should be "had fun" with. Especially since there if is no intention of having any kind of relationship. It's sliding to the wrong side of taking advantage of the vulnerable towards bullying.
Fair dos... treat the scams, bogus profiles, replies etc with due contempt... but if you suspect someone is genuine it's only fair to treat them with a bit of consideration.
Thats the line I was worried about, in the sense it might be an experiment, you could actually have some genuine girls on the other end here that are actually interested and you might be yourself. Could almost become an early closure to the experiment.
Jenson drives it like he owns it; Lewis drives it like he stole it
Yeah, I appreciate what you're trying to do, and it is very interesting, but if you've had contact from some nice, genuine girls it wouldn't be fair to mess them around for the purposes of your experiment
Yikes, the ethics committee have arrived in the midst of a scientific experiement. The two cannot exist simultaneously.
OK, new plan specially for you people. I will continue my communications with the 'nice girls' to see whether online dating can, in fact, lead anywhere.
... but what about the 'webcam girls' who mailed me back? Surely nobody would have an issue with me messing them about a bit?
Now that we know their profiles are genuine and there are real people on the other end (but we ALSO know that they're only registered with the site to sell themselves on webcam streaming sites), perhaps we can e-mail them instead.
K*bots UK, specialist providers of 'fun science' Curriculum Enhancement days for Primary and Secondary schools in Britain.
Please find us on [en.wikipedia.org] for more information.
The two cannot exist simultaneously.OK, new plan specially for you people.
I will continue my communications with the 'nice girls' to see whether online dating can, in fact, lead anywhere.... but what about the 'webcam girls' who mailed me back? Surely nobody would have an issue with me messing them about a bit?
Now that we know their profiles are genuine and there are real people on the other end (but we ALSO know that they're only registered with the site to sell themselves on webcam streaming sites), perhaps we can e-mail them instead.
Yeah, I see where you are going.
I think as far as the experiment goes, you can put a line under the real girls, and if they do indeed seem genuine, which again is only a presumption, fade them off.
It would kill the experiment in one way, but draw a line conclusively and let you explore these fake accounts more.
The only info you need about real girls is that they are real, and it is really mean to mess their hopes. But then full circle, that is the purpose of finding out here. Oh my. Decisions!
Jenson drives it like he owns it; Lewis drives it like he stole it
I think as far as the experiment goes, you can put a line under the real girls, and if they do indeed seem genuine, which again is only a presumption, fade them off.
It would kill the experiment in one way, but draw a line conclusively and let you explore these fake accounts more.
The only info you need about real girls is that they are real, and it is really mean to mess their hopes. But then full circle, that is the purpose of finding out here. Oh my. Decisions!
Interesting ethical debate. It'd be poor form to mess about with genuine members alright, but work away with the webcam girls...Good thread!
Hey would-be daters, another gem of advice coming up.
Any e-mail containing the line: "You might not be my type, but let's chat and see what happens" seems to elicit a very favourable response. I'm not gonna attempt to figure out the psychology behind that one - could someone with a girlfriend ask them and let us all know? lol
K*bots UK, specialist providers of 'fun science' Curriculum Enhancement days for Primary and Secondary schools in Britain.
Please find us on [en.wikipedia.org] for more information.
Any e-mail containing the line: "You might not be my type, but let's chat and see what happens" seems to elicit a very favourable response. I'm not gonna attempt to figure out the psychology behind that one - could someone with a girlfriend ask them and let us all know? lol
I only just found this, and what an awesome thread. Gotta read from p1 later !
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A bit off-topic, but danm the livery in your sig is sweet!
I've actually been pleasantly surprised today, considering the number of sites I've registered with to write this article, that I haven't been bombarded with corny Valentine's day junk mail. Maybe the websites DO have a modicom of social awareness afater all, lol. "Today is the day for celebrating love and relationships, so we won't shove it in your face that you're single."
An update on my communications, by the way... of the six girls who mailed me back, I've carried on corresponding with just one of them. Three of them weren't really interested and evidently just liked the initial e-mail. I chatted to one girl for a while before it became apparent that she'd got some serious emotional issues, and to be frank I didn't want to get involved in that tedium. Two of them actually seem geuinely nice girls... the one lives in Northern Ireland though, so nothing happening there lol.
I know I haven't written a full update this week (insanely busy last week of term) but I'm looking to write my next article on the similarities and differences between finding a 'date' online and in the real world.
K*bots UK, specialist providers of 'fun science' Curriculum Enhancement days for Primary and Secondary schools in Britain.
Please find us on [en.wikipedia.org] for more information.
An update on my communications, by the way... of the six girls who mailed me back, I've carried on corresponding with just one of them. Three of them weren't really interested and evidently just liked the initial e-mail. I chatted to one girl for a while before it became apparent that she'd got some serious emotional issues, and to be frank I didn't want to get involved in that tedium. Two of them actually seem geuinely nice girls... the one lives in Northern Ireland though, so nothing happening there lol.
I know I haven't written a full update this week (insanely busy last week of term) but I'm looking to write my next article on the similarities and differences between finding a 'date' online and in the real world.
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