Off-The-Field Incidents+BAD ONES+Your star striker has just stumbled into your office after an all night drinking sesh -
There's no way he'll be able to play the next game.
Move back 2 squares.Your goalkeeper has injured his hands after trying to prove to the other players that he could tame a badger.
The badger wasn't harmed but your keeper will have to miss the next match.
Move back 2 squares.The rain has been lashing down on the pitch. Derek the groundskeeper has tried his best, but his pitch-folk did little
to help the situation and the game has been called off.
Move back 2 squares.After using 47 expletives aimed at the referee in your last post-match interview, the governing body has given you a two match ban and a restraining order.
Move back 2 f*@in' squaresYour star player is unavailable for selection after accidently locking himself in his Ferrari Enzo.
Move back 2 squares.Your assistant manager has resigned, leaving a letter on your desk informing you of his plans to
open up a sanctuary for animals with alopecia.
Move back 2 squaresThe coach driver has taken a wrong turn to your next game and you end up at the wrong ground. You did however, manage to beat
Bloomfield Under 12's 3-0.
Move back 2 squares.There's a flu virus going round and half the team have got it. A hankee ban has been enforced until further notice.
Move back 2 squaresDuring a radio interview, your wife lets slip that you're a massive Cliff Richard fan and have seen him live 12 times, the next day
all the players come to training dressed as Cliff.
Move back 2 squaresYou are overheard calling the oppositions striker a chubby slow-coach. He chases after you and rugby tackles you.
Limp back 2 squaresYou are seen in the Sky Sports studio swapping the letters on Andy Gray's dressing room to read 'Randy Gay'
Move back 2 squaresTwo of your players are injured after accidently stepping on Subbuteo players whilst recreating last weeks win.
Flick back 2 squaresYour captain is arrested after being caught throwing Stones into the nearby river. It sounds pretty harsh but Stones was the referee.
Move back 2 squaresYou lose a cross-bar competition with some of the players meaning you have to wear a Bob the Builder suit to the next session
Move back 2 squaresYour recent addition of facial hair hasn't gone down well with the papers calling you Ned Flanders, you shave it off the next day.
Move back 2 squaresYou've been given a touch line ban for kicking a drinks bottle, unfortunately it hit the 4th official on the back of the head.
Move back 2 squaresYou accidently got your Japanese midfielders name wrong, calling him a particular brand of washing detergent instead
Move back 2 squares+GOOD ONES+Hours before the next match, it emerges that the opposition have been playing a twelth man in their last few games. It appears
nobody noticed this because he was dressed in cammoflauge. The player in question is in hiding and is unavailable for commment.
Move forward 2 squares.You have received the manager of the month award! You make space for it on your desk next to your 'Best Manager on the Planet' mug.
Move forward 2 squares.American business man Bob Loblaw has bought the club and promises to plough millions into it. Despite his plans
to spend the initial payment on erecting a statue of himself outside the main gates, the future looks bright for the club.
Move forward 2 squares.You sit down in your couch in the evening with your cup of tea and turn on Match of the Day to find out you're on first!
Move forward 2 squares.It's your birthday and the players have all chipped in and bought you a present. The players look up to you which
can only bode well for the future and you now have that singing trout you've always wanted.
Move forward 2 squaresYou have successfully signed the Brazillian striker you've targeted since last season. Despite him getting your teams name
wrong several times in the press conference, the player gels well with the rest of the players.
Move forward 2 squaresYou sign a massive sponsorship contract with a confectionary company. Hundreds of elderly fans await you at the stadium
for you to sign their Werthers Originals
Move forward 2 squares.You are interviewed by GQ magazine with your photo on the front cover. You're the coolest manager around and nobody
has noticed that your suits are from Primark
Move forward 2 squaresYou come 18th in a Woman's Weekly list of people 'You shouldn't, but would'
Move forward 2 squaresYour star player has been voted player of the year. The other players might be jealous but it's just the boost the he needs.
Move forward 2 squaresYour youth team coach informs you of a great talent worthy of the first team, he claims that Dan Druff is 'head and shoulders' above the rest
Move forward 2 squaresThe team get through a whole training session without anyone getting injured, amazing considering the 40 minutes of 'Tan Arse'.
Move forward 2 squaresYour recently released team rap song gets to number 1 in the charts, mainly due to your 30 second rap solo in the middle.
Move forward 2 squaresThe latest football video game is out and your team are on the cover!
Move forward 2 squaresThe chairman finally gives you your own parking space so you don't have the 15 minute walk to the stadium any more!
Move forward 2 squares
Ric Scott