Laws of the internet

1. No one, ESPECIALLY YOU, will make any law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

2. Use your brain before ever putting fingers to keys.

3. Do you want a picture of you getting anally raped by Bill Gates while you're performing oral sex on a cow saved to hundreds of thousands of people's hard drives? No? Then don't put your f****** picture on the Internet. We can, will, and probably already HAVE altered it in awful ways. Expect it to show up on an equally offensive website.

4. Realize that you are never, EVER going to get that, or any other, offensive web page taken down. Those of us who run those sites LIVE to piss off people like you. Those of us who don't run those sites sometimes visit them just to read the hatemail from fools like you.

5. Oh, you say you're going to a lawyer? Be prepared for us to giggle with girlish delight, and for your lawyer to laugh in your face after he explains current copyright and parody law.

6. The Web is not the Internet. Stop referring to it that way.

7. We have already received the e-mail you are about to forward to us. Shut up.

8. Don't reply to spam. You are not going to be "unsubscribed".

9. Don't ever use the term "cyberspace" (only William Gibson gets to say that, and even he hasn't really used it for two or three books now). Likewise, you prove yourself a marketing-hype victim if you ever use the term "surfing".

10. With one or two notable exceptions, chat rooms will not get you laid.

11. It's a hoax, not a virus warning.

12. The internet is made up of thousands of computers, all connected but owned by different people. Learn how to use *your* computer before attempting to connect it to someone else's.

13. The first person who offers to help you is really just trying to f*** with you for entertainment. So is the second. And the third. And me.

14. Never insult someone who's been active in any group longer than you have. You may as well paint a damn target on your back.

15. Never get comfortable and arrogant behind your supposed mask of anonymity. Don't be surprised when your name, address, and home phone number get thrown back in your smug face. Hell, some of us will snail-mail you a printed satellite photograph of your house to drive the point home. Realize that you are powerless if this happens ... it's all public information, and information is our stock and trade.

16. No one thinks you are as cool as you think you are.

17. You aren't going to win any argument that you start.

18. If you're on AOL, don't worry about anything I've said here. You're already a f****** laughing stock, and there's no hope for you.

19. If you can't take a joke, immediately sell your computer to someone who can. RIGHT NOW.

20. Learn to type. Contrary to popular belief, "u", "y" and "r" are letters, not phrases.

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theRacingLine.net
SportsCarArchives.com

heh, some good laws there

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VT Driver
Broders




Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/19/2005 11:06PM by broders.

15. Never get comfortable and arrogant behind your supposed mask of anonymity. Don't be surprised when your name, address, and home phone number get thrown back in your smug face. Hell, some of us will snail-mail you a printed satellite photograph of your house to drive the point home. Realize that you are powerless if this happens ... it's all public information, and information is our stock and trade.

I actually did this to someone once. They were NOT amused. I was!

Zcott Wrote:
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> I actually did this to someone once. They were NOT
> amused. I was!

Not hard when you just have to poke your head above the divider and say "what was that you were saying", eh? Mr. Internet Cafe man. Eh?

Oh, I can do that too!

But when people casually talk in conversation about where they're teaching next year and when they're giving recitals.....it's not hard to check it all out on Google and find real names, addresses, phone numbers, shoe sizes...

I dare you to find my shoe size!

Can anyone find mine? Every time i buy a new pair of shoes it's a different size :P
Its just so annoying when are you in the shoe store, they ask you whats your size and you say im not sure



AMD64 3400+ (running at 2,66ghz atm )DDR400 1gb(running at 433) Asus K8N-E Deluxe mobo, 6800ultra, Tagan tg-480w, Audigy 2Zs, Logitech Z-5500 speakers
Using X-aser Lanfire case with 5 fans inside cathodelights etc included aswell :P



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/20/2005 03:20AM by Alex13.

:-D

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/20/2005 08:23AM by Raderick.

stolen from here



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/20/2005 09:29AM by Briere.

Which was stolen from many other places, which stole it from... what's your point?

It is teh funneh. :D

Briere Wrote:
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> stolen from here

Comapred with Math who was stolen from here

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theRacingLine.net
SportsCarArchives.com

20. Learn to type. Contrary to popular belief, "u", "y" and "r" are letters, not phrases.

That's the best!!!

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Rocker

10. With one or two notable exceptions, chat rooms will not get you laid

YES YES YES! Loads of people in school talk mighty praises of chat rooms with loads of "young ones" on it. What are they gonna do? Email their semen?