Annoying Flatmates!
Posted by sasjag
mmmmm fondled.....nothing like a bit of fondling 
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[www.gp4central.com] <----GP4 CentralLMAO! Fantastic, Dan! Some proper vile stuff in there though. :s
When I was in uni, I was living with 2 people. However, 3 weeks into the contract, one of my 'mates' moved his girlfriend in to his room. The house was only designed for 3 people and she was the fourth. She was a control freak and basically took over the household, i.e. hid the remote from the other two of us so she and my former mate could watch what they wanted on TV, moving things out the fridge because they encorached on "her" space, etc.
Worst of all, however, they were in the room above me and whenever they had sex, I got the full picture because the floor was very thin and she was too loud. They actually woke me up at 11:30pm one night when I had a 9am lecture the following day. When I confronted them about it, they simply said it was their right, and no worse than me waking them up at half ten in the morning (yes, WAKING them at HALF TEN...) with my music.
So pissed off by this was I that I decided to exact revenge, and considering my other housemate was a wimpy, two-faced little slag who later turned on me and can rot in hell as a result, I did so by myself. The steps I took were as follows:-
1) After eating pork for dinner one night, I poured the remnant blood which was in the box into their milk. Nothing like a bit of pig blood with your breakfast.
2) I dusted their underwear drawer with itching powder. I never heard a complaint but I hope it was damn irritating!
3) I adjusted the heating to a temperature where their radiator pipes made a grinding noise whenever it was turned on.
4) I filled a small open box with one raw egg and some milk, and hid it underneath their bed. After about a week their room had the most rancid and congealed smell you've ever come across.
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When I was in uni, I was living with 2 people. However, 3 weeks into the contract, one of my 'mates' moved his girlfriend in to his room. The house was only designed for 3 people and she was the fourth. She was a control freak and basically took over the household, i.e. hid the remote from the other two of us so she and my former mate could watch what they wanted on TV, moving things out the fridge because they encorached on "her" space, etc.
Worst of all, however, they were in the room above me and whenever they had sex, I got the full picture because the floor was very thin and she was too loud. They actually woke me up at 11:30pm one night when I had a 9am lecture the following day. When I confronted them about it, they simply said it was their right, and no worse than me waking them up at half ten in the morning (yes, WAKING them at HALF TEN...) with my music.
So pissed off by this was I that I decided to exact revenge, and considering my other housemate was a wimpy, two-faced little slag who later turned on me and can rot in hell as a result, I did so by myself. The steps I took were as follows:-
1) After eating pork for dinner one night, I poured the remnant blood which was in the box into their milk. Nothing like a bit of pig blood with your breakfast.
2) I dusted their underwear drawer with itching powder. I never heard a complaint but I hope it was damn irritating!
3) I adjusted the heating to a temperature where their radiator pipes made a grinding noise whenever it was turned on.
4) I filled a small open box with one raw egg and some milk, and hid it underneath their bed. After about a week their room had the most rancid and congealed smell you've ever come across.
Locke Cole Wrote:
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> 1) After eating pork for dinner one night, I
> poured the remnant blood which was in the box into
> their milk. Nothing like a bit of pig blood with
> your breakfast.
>
> 2) I dusted their underwear drawer with itching
> powder. I never heard a complaint but I hope it
> was damn irritating!
>
> 3) I adjusted the heating to a temperature where
> their radiator pipes made a grinding noise
> whenever it was turned on.
>
> 4) I filled a small open box with one raw egg and
> some milk, and hid it underneath their bed. After
> about a week their room had the most rancid and
> congealed smell you've ever come across.
Man. You simply rock!!! That was awesome
By the way, one of my mates was always emptying my bottle of fresh juice I used to drink on daily basis a couple of years ago. When I got back home went to the fridge, the juice was not there.
One day I sacrificed a whole bottle of it and added a handful of grinded laxative pills. I shook the liquid and put it back into the fridge. When I got back home ,the bottle was empty of course...but it was the last time I had problems with my flatmate and vanishing juice :D Who knows ,maybe this way he was "purified" and got wiser just a little bit
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/02/2008 12:12PM by abdelkader.
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> 1) After eating pork for dinner one night, I
> poured the remnant blood which was in the box into
> their milk. Nothing like a bit of pig blood with
> your breakfast.
>
> 2) I dusted their underwear drawer with itching
> powder. I never heard a complaint but I hope it
> was damn irritating!
>
> 3) I adjusted the heating to a temperature where
> their radiator pipes made a grinding noise
> whenever it was turned on.
>
> 4) I filled a small open box with one raw egg and
> some milk, and hid it underneath their bed. After
> about a week their room had the most rancid and
> congealed smell you've ever come across.
Man. You simply rock!!! That was awesome
By the way, one of my mates was always emptying my bottle of fresh juice I used to drink on daily basis a couple of years ago. When I got back home went to the fridge, the juice was not there.
One day I sacrificed a whole bottle of it and added a handful of grinded laxative pills. I shook the liquid and put it back into the fridge. When I got back home ,the bottle was empty of course...but it was the last time I had problems with my flatmate and vanishing juice :D Who knows ,maybe this way he was "purified" and got wiser just a little bit
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/02/2008 12:12PM by abdelkader.
Some of your comebacks are really classy, especially yours danm 
To be fair though, I've lived in halls for three years now, and never really had a problem with my flatmates.
However, I do have a couple of asian flatmates who cook in a pan, leave it on a hob without washing it, then come along the next day and throw food in the leftover grease, and cook it.
This went on every day for a month, until one of my flatmates threatened them with a forged note from the cleaner, and left it in their pan
So they, (I saw them), rinsed it with cold water for a few seconds, then put it back on the hob.
That was three weeks ago now.
I also suspect that they are the ones who like dutch ovens in the toilet.
If they take a dump, they will actually close the window, and completely ignore the can of air freshener I left in there. Added to the fact that they do not believe in deodorant and live on curries, it makes for a lovely smell if you go in within an hour after one of them
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/02/2008 01:06PM by salvasirignano.
To be fair though, I've lived in halls for three years now, and never really had a problem with my flatmates.
However, I do have a couple of asian flatmates who cook in a pan, leave it on a hob without washing it, then come along the next day and throw food in the leftover grease, and cook it.
This went on every day for a month, until one of my flatmates threatened them with a forged note from the cleaner, and left it in their pan
So they, (I saw them), rinsed it with cold water for a few seconds, then put it back on the hob.
That was three weeks ago now.
I also suspect that they are the ones who like dutch ovens in the toilet.
If they take a dump, they will actually close the window, and completely ignore the can of air freshener I left in there. Added to the fact that they do not believe in deodorant and live on curries, it makes for a lovely smell if you go in within an hour after one of them
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/02/2008 01:06PM by salvasirignano.
haha awesome stories :D
see, i'm not that mean! maybe now i wont be known as the milkman :P
Sim
All Hail The New York Giants - Winners of Superbowl XXI, XXV and XLII!
"I'd love to know what goes on in that crazy head of yours sometimes, Sim..." - Locke Cole
see, i'm not that mean! maybe now i wont be known as the milkman :P
Sim
All Hail The New York Giants - Winners of Superbowl XXI, XXV and XLII!
"I'd love to know what goes on in that crazy head of yours sometimes, Sim..." - Locke Cole
sasjag Wrote:
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> haha awesome stories :D
>
> see, i'm not that mean! maybe now i wont be known
> as the milkman :P
true. you probably cant always deliver :P
Jenson drives it like he owns it; Lewis drives it like he stole it
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> haha awesome stories :D
>
> see, i'm not that mean! maybe now i wont be known
> as the milkman :P
true. you probably cant always deliver :P
sasjag Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> see, i'm not that mean! maybe now i wont be known
> as the milkman :P
Sim, you came in milk which you knew was going to be drunk. It was deserved, and frankly the stuff of legend on these forums, but you can NOT say you're not mean.
-------------------------------------------------------
> see, i'm not that mean! maybe now i wont be known
> as the milkman :P
Sim, you came in milk which you knew was going to be drunk. It was deserved, and frankly the stuff of legend on these forums, but you can NOT say you're not mean.
gav Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> sasjag Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > see, i'm not that mean! maybe now i wont be
> known
> > as the milkman :P
>
> Sim, you came in milk which you knew was going to
> be drunk. It was deserved, and frankly the stuff
> of legend on these forums, but you can NOT say
> you're not mean.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
-------------------------------------------------------
> sasjag Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > see, i'm not that mean! maybe now i wont be
> known
> > as the milkman :P
>
> Sim, you came in milk which you knew was going to
> be drunk. It was deserved, and frankly the stuff
> of legend on these forums, but you can NOT say
> you're not mean.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
BAR#10 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No offense to anyone, but at times, this is one
> disturbing thread.
Agreed. Don't read it on a full stomach either. The descriptive narrative that goes on here is hilarious and sickening to read.
Everyone knows that million-to-one chances happen 9 times out of 10; indeed, it's a common requirement in fairy tales. If the human didn't have to overcome huge odds, what would be the point? Terry Pratchett - The Science Of Discworld
GPGSL S5 Race driver for IED.
-------------------------------------------------------
> No offense to anyone, but at times, this is one
> disturbing thread.
Agreed. Don't read it on a full stomach either. The descriptive narrative that goes on here is hilarious and sickening to read.
Everyone knows that million-to-one chances happen 9 times out of 10; indeed, it's a common requirement in fairy tales. If the human didn't have to overcome huge odds, what would be the point? Terry Pratchett - The Science Of Discworld
GPGSL S5 Race driver for IED.
it would be funny for sim to post a note on facebook or track down his ex flatmates and tell them :P
'hey, remember me?'
Jenson drives it like he owns it; Lewis drives it like he stole it
'hey, remember me?'
gav Wrote:
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> Did people not read the opening couple of pages of
> the thread? I've had this thread bookmarked since
> it started. It's epic stuff. :D
Bump, so the new people to this forum can read it!
Everyone knows that million-to-one chances happen 9 times out of 10; indeed, it's a common requirement in fairy tales. If the human didn't have to overcome huge odds, what would be the point? Terry Pratchett - The Science Of Discworld
GPGSL S5 Race driver for IED.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Did people not read the opening couple of pages of
> the thread? I've had this thread bookmarked since
> it started. It's epic stuff. :D
Bump, so the new people to this forum can read it!
Everyone knows that million-to-one chances happen 9 times out of 10; indeed, it's a common requirement in fairy tales. If the human didn't have to overcome huge odds, what would be the point? Terry Pratchett - The Science Of Discworld
GPGSL S5 Race driver for IED.
Guimengo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You're not allowed to bump this without new and
> good stories! Shame on you!
Go on then, what's your excuse?
Everyone knows that million-to-one chances happen 9 times out of 10; indeed, it's a common requirement in fairy tales. If the human didn't have to overcome huge odds, what would be the point? Terry Pratchett - The Science Of Discworld
GPGSL S5 Race driver for IED.
-------------------------------------------------------
> You're not allowed to bump this without new and
> good stories! Shame on you!
Go on then, what's your excuse?
Everyone knows that million-to-one chances happen 9 times out of 10; indeed, it's a common requirement in fairy tales. If the human didn't have to overcome huge odds, what would be the point? Terry Pratchett - The Science Of Discworld
GPGSL S5 Race driver for IED.
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