Forum Freeform Roleplay :-)
Posted by mortal
I had the (mis?)fortune to see "Mortal Kombat: The Movie"
yes, it was my fault, I asked for it). If you have seen "Mortal Kombat" you might find this amusing (I think). If you haven't (good for you) then just try to enjoy....
(Start playing funky Techo music here)
And now, I give you.....................................................
M O R T A L W O M B A T
STARRING
in no particular order
Mortal Wombat as The Wombat Master
Vader AS Han-Del
Dumass AS Del-Han
Chris AS Steve Butterknife
Ellis AS Cagey Dave
Morbid AS Amiable Bad Guy
LS AS Sub-Hero
Special Guest Cameo Appearance by Amos
Flaming Newbie Sveps AS Repete
and introducing Matic AS Dung Beetle
Techno Music BY Odin
Filmed in WOMBATVISION
EPISODE 1
High in the misty mountains of China, in a small buddist temple stands a
young man and a dark sinister figure. A dung beetle struggles across the
courtyard rolling a ball of dung (what else). The young man is nervous and
sweating, but the dark figure seems non-plussed. A bony hand beckons from beneath the dark robes "Come, and fight...for me..." hisses the sinister man. "Never!" cries the young man. He has obviously been well
versed in Evil Figure Spotting and knows one when he sees one.
"Then...you shall die!" says the figure slowly with gratuitous lisping. The two fighters come together. Blows are taken and received, but it soon becomes clear that the young man is no match for the evil one. "Aaaaaarggghhh!" he screams as the fists of the dark man pound blow after blow onto him. Finally he collapses into the dirt. The dark man smiles a truely Evil(tm) smile and lifts the head of the young man out of the dirt while shouting at the movie screen. "I've beaten your brother, and now I'm coming for you! You too are going to die!" The young man does the obligatory screaming and then yells "Ha! You may have ...beaten me...but my brother is stronger! He's built like a brick-shithouse" "Enough!" screams the menacing figure, annoyed at being interrupted. "Now, you shall die!" And with that he removes a long, deadly blade from beneath his robes. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" he screams, and the last thing that can be seen is the deadly blade coming down..."Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" cried Han-Del as he put his hands to his pounding head. What a bloody hangover! And how did get home last night? For that matter, why was he wearing women's underwear? Slowly he oozed out of bed, dragging a mass of bedsheet with him into the bathroom, where he downed half a bottle of aspirin and then a few swigs of rum. Nothing like the hair of the dog that bit you, eh? Oh his head hurt again. On his way back to the bed he kicked something on the floor which went spinnng under the bed. Grumbling he crawled over and fished it out. It was a Fed-Ex folder, someone must have slipped it under his door. He opened it and read: HAN-DEL :BROTHER DEAD. COME HOME. BRING MILK, SUGAR & EGGS. "Good God, then it wasn't just a dream after all" he stuttered. Poor little Del-Han, dead. His heart, always prone to angst, sunk to the floor. He had to go home. Meanwhile, inside a pulsating Techno club Special Agent Steve Butterknife was stalking his prey. He'd been on his trail for weeks, finding a clue here and a clue there. Now he'd almost caught up to his target. "What are you going to do with Amiable Bad Guy when you catch him?" wispered his generic backup soldier. "Interrogation? Torture?" "No" Steve wispered back fiercely. "Even worse than that." "Even worse? Just what did this guy DO?" whispered the backup rather loudly. "That bastard left the toilet seat up! Can you BELIEVE IT?" "Um...."stammered the backup solider. "Er no. What a...jerk. Yeah...Ok....right." backing away slowly while avoiding eye contact. He made a mental note not to go to the bathroom until this mission was over. Steve just muttered darkly to himself and swung his gun around. Meanwhile, inside the same Techno club in a secret back room......."So he's just really pissed right now, and I just want everything to be ok again...you see?" rambled Amiable Bad Guy to a figure huddled in the corner. "Yes...and everything will be all right, if you will bring him just a little bit further. You can do that, can't you?" "Oh yes. he eats far too many chocolate bars to keep up with me. It's just that high powered automatic rifle I'm worried about." "Don't worry" said the Wombat Master with an evil gleam in his eye. "Just leave everything to me..." The dark and mean streets of Berlin is not really the place to be after nightfall. It was 9 in the evening, however, when Cagey John came out to walk. Suddenly a group of four tough-looking tramps came around the corner, laughing and throwing rocks at the passing cars. Cagey John was afraid."What are they doing here? What if they take my money? What if..oh.." he muttered. "Hey you, yeah you I'm talkin to you" cried the biggest tramp. "This is our block now!" The group came menacingly at Cagey John and pulled out several nasty-looking knives and clubs. "Look, I don't want any trouble..." stammered Cagey. "Well you GOT some
!" cried the lead tramp as he adjusted his gleaming chromium plated custom made knuckleduster (tm). "Get him guys!" Suddenly forced to be assertive about something, Cagey John grabbed his first assailant by the wrist and flipped him over his side while forcing him to drop his knife. "Aaaarr shiiiiiiit!" cried the fallen tramp. Kicking and whirling like a demon possesed, Cagey John soon made short work of the other three tramps and left them lying in a crumpled heap. "He broke my arm!"
one lamented. "Now get on out of here, and don't come back!" cried Cagey John. "I have enoughtrouble as it is! Oh, How I hate this job..." "Hey, that was pretty impressive" said a voice from behind him. "What?" Cagey shrieked. "Oh, Amos, it's you! How's my job application for McDonalds' coming?" "It's...ok Cagey, it's ok. Too soon to tell. But I want to tell you something. I know you want out of this stinkin' job, and I think I know a way. There's a new big McDonalds...opening
, yeah that's it, in Hong Kong. They'll be needing lot's of people there. You're a shoe in." "Hong Kong? WTF!! I don't even speak Chinese! I don't even have a passport! I...I.....I" "Don't worry about a thing, Cagey. Just leave it all up to me. Here's a plane ticket...and here's a 100 bucks. Go and get some less flashy clothes. I'll meet you there. Don't dissapoint me, Cagey..." and with that Amos walked away. "Wow. A real job! I don't like McDonald's fries much though. Still..." Cagey John clutched the ticket in his hand and walked purposely off towards the fashion district. "Amos" smiled, and shape shifted back into The Wombat Master...
Mortal Wombat will continue....
(submissions accepted mail to gusto88@msn.com)
Any similarity to real or unreal persons wether alive, dead or just brain-dead is really highly intentional, you know how it is....
[www.mediafire.com] Some say you should click it, you know you want to.
[www.gp4central.com] <----GP4 Central
yes, it was my fault, I asked for it). If you have seen "Mortal Kombat" you might find this amusing (I think). If you haven't (good for you) then just try to enjoy....(Start playing funky Techo music here)
And now, I give you.....................................................
M O R T A L W O M B A T
STARRING
in no particular order
Mortal Wombat as The Wombat Master
Vader AS Han-Del
Dumass AS Del-Han
Chris AS Steve Butterknife
Ellis AS Cagey Dave
Morbid AS Amiable Bad Guy
LS AS Sub-Hero
Special Guest Cameo Appearance by Amos
Flaming Newbie Sveps AS Repete
and introducing Matic AS Dung Beetle
Techno Music BY Odin
Filmed in WOMBATVISION
EPISODE 1
High in the misty mountains of China, in a small buddist temple stands a
young man and a dark sinister figure. A dung beetle struggles across the
courtyard rolling a ball of dung (what else). The young man is nervous and
sweating, but the dark figure seems non-plussed. A bony hand beckons from beneath the dark robes "Come, and fight...for me..." hisses the sinister man. "Never!" cries the young man. He has obviously been well
versed in Evil Figure Spotting and knows one when he sees one.
"Then...you shall die!" says the figure slowly with gratuitous lisping. The two fighters come together. Blows are taken and received, but it soon becomes clear that the young man is no match for the evil one. "Aaaaaarggghhh!" he screams as the fists of the dark man pound blow after blow onto him. Finally he collapses into the dirt. The dark man smiles a truely Evil(tm) smile and lifts the head of the young man out of the dirt while shouting at the movie screen. "I've beaten your brother, and now I'm coming for you! You too are going to die!" The young man does the obligatory screaming and then yells "Ha! You may have ...beaten me...but my brother is stronger! He's built like a brick-shithouse" "Enough!" screams the menacing figure, annoyed at being interrupted. "Now, you shall die!" And with that he removes a long, deadly blade from beneath his robes. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" he screams, and the last thing that can be seen is the deadly blade coming down..."Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" cried Han-Del as he put his hands to his pounding head. What a bloody hangover! And how did get home last night? For that matter, why was he wearing women's underwear? Slowly he oozed out of bed, dragging a mass of bedsheet with him into the bathroom, where he downed half a bottle of aspirin and then a few swigs of rum. Nothing like the hair of the dog that bit you, eh? Oh his head hurt again. On his way back to the bed he kicked something on the floor which went spinnng under the bed. Grumbling he crawled over and fished it out. It was a Fed-Ex folder, someone must have slipped it under his door. He opened it and read: HAN-DEL :BROTHER DEAD. COME HOME. BRING MILK, SUGAR & EGGS. "Good God, then it wasn't just a dream after all" he stuttered. Poor little Del-Han, dead. His heart, always prone to angst, sunk to the floor. He had to go home. Meanwhile, inside a pulsating Techno club Special Agent Steve Butterknife was stalking his prey. He'd been on his trail for weeks, finding a clue here and a clue there. Now he'd almost caught up to his target. "What are you going to do with Amiable Bad Guy when you catch him?" wispered his generic backup soldier. "Interrogation? Torture?" "No" Steve wispered back fiercely. "Even worse than that." "Even worse? Just what did this guy DO?" whispered the backup rather loudly. "That bastard left the toilet seat up! Can you BELIEVE IT?" "Um...."stammered the backup solider. "Er no. What a...jerk. Yeah...Ok....right." backing away slowly while avoiding eye contact. He made a mental note not to go to the bathroom until this mission was over. Steve just muttered darkly to himself and swung his gun around. Meanwhile, inside the same Techno club in a secret back room......."So he's just really pissed right now, and I just want everything to be ok again...you see?" rambled Amiable Bad Guy to a figure huddled in the corner. "Yes...and everything will be all right, if you will bring him just a little bit further. You can do that, can't you?" "Oh yes. he eats far too many chocolate bars to keep up with me. It's just that high powered automatic rifle I'm worried about." "Don't worry" said the Wombat Master with an evil gleam in his eye. "Just leave everything to me..." The dark and mean streets of Berlin is not really the place to be after nightfall. It was 9 in the evening, however, when Cagey John came out to walk. Suddenly a group of four tough-looking tramps came around the corner, laughing and throwing rocks at the passing cars. Cagey John was afraid."What are they doing here? What if they take my money? What if..oh.." he muttered. "Hey you, yeah you I'm talkin to you" cried the biggest tramp. "This is our block now!" The group came menacingly at Cagey John and pulled out several nasty-looking knives and clubs. "Look, I don't want any trouble..." stammered Cagey. "Well you GOT some
!" cried the lead tramp as he adjusted his gleaming chromium plated custom made knuckleduster (tm). "Get him guys!" Suddenly forced to be assertive about something, Cagey John grabbed his first assailant by the wrist and flipped him over his side while forcing him to drop his knife. "Aaaarr shiiiiiiit!" cried the fallen tramp. Kicking and whirling like a demon possesed, Cagey John soon made short work of the other three tramps and left them lying in a crumpled heap. "He broke my arm!"
one lamented. "Now get on out of here, and don't come back!" cried Cagey John. "I have enoughtrouble as it is! Oh, How I hate this job..." "Hey, that was pretty impressive" said a voice from behind him. "What?" Cagey shrieked. "Oh, Amos, it's you! How's my job application for McDonalds' coming?" "It's...ok Cagey, it's ok. Too soon to tell. But I want to tell you something. I know you want out of this stinkin' job, and I think I know a way. There's a new big McDonalds...opening
, yeah that's it, in Hong Kong. They'll be needing lot's of people there. You're a shoe in." "Hong Kong? WTF!! I don't even speak Chinese! I don't even have a passport! I...I.....I" "Don't worry about a thing, Cagey. Just leave it all up to me. Here's a plane ticket...and here's a 100 bucks. Go and get some less flashy clothes. I'll meet you there. Don't dissapoint me, Cagey..." and with that Amos walked away. "Wow. A real job! I don't like McDonald's fries much though. Still..." Cagey John clutched the ticket in his hand and walked purposely off towards the fashion district. "Amos" smiled, and shape shifted back into The Wombat Master...
Mortal Wombat will continue....
(submissions accepted mail to gusto88@msn.com)
Any similarity to real or unreal persons wether alive, dead or just brain-dead is really highly intentional, you know how it is....
[www.mediafire.com] Some say you should click it, you know you want to.
[www.gp4central.com] <----GP4 Central*sniff* i am not going to read it. Orpheus is getting very mad! :P
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i cant read that much :'
I refuse to read it as the director didnt give me a role
Hehehe, poor Dumass, killed off in scene 1, poetic license will no doubt allow for his resurrection in a future episode. Please submit your episode ideas to me at gusto_88@msn.com, without your ideas this saga will fall in a heap very quickly, murder, mayhem, intrigue, sexual escapades and dung beetles permitted Oh and my apologies from the credits department, heads have rolled and asses have been kicked.....Neil Stratton will appear as Wun Hung Lo and Orpheus will appear as none other than himself in episode 2. Please stay tuned for further developments
[www.mediafire.com] Some say you should click it, you know you want to. [www.gp4central.com] <----GP4 Central
Oh and my apologies from the credits department, heads have rolled and asses have been kicked.....Neil Stratton will appear as Wun Hung Lo and Orpheus will appear as none other than himself in episode 2. Please stay tuned for further developments [www.mediafire.com] Some say you should click it, you know you want to.
[www.gp4central.com] <----GP4 CentralM O R T A L W O M B A T
STARRING
in no particular order
Mortal Wombat as The Wombat Master
Vader AS Han-Del
Dumass AS Del-Han
Chris AS Steve Butterknife
Ellis AS Cagey Dave
Morbid AS Amiable Bad Guy
LS AS Sub-Hero
Neill Stratton AS Wun Hung Lo
Special Guest Appearance by Orpheus as Himself
Special Guest Cameo Appearance by Amos
Flaming Newbie Sveps AS Repete
and introducing Matic AS Dung Beetle
Techno Music BY Odin
Filmed in WOMBATVISION
EPISODE 2
Nightfall......the shadows grow longer on the bustling Hong Kong docks.....a shadowy figure slips through the crowd and approaches Cagey John as he disembarks from the tramp steamer. "Welcome to Hong Kong Sensei. The Wombat Master is unable to be here and has asked me to
meet you, I am Orpheus, the Wombat Master's right hand man, accomodation and a suitable geisha girl for your entertainment has been arranged and soon your task will be revealed. Meanwhile I am to escort you to your cover job at McDonalds on Victoria Peak". Cagey John said nothing, his steely grey eyes surveyed the docks impassively as he stood
there in his Gucci loafers, Pierre Cardin shirt and Fiorucci jeans. He gave a slight bow as acknowledgment and to the casual observer nothing had happened at all. Not so thought Wun Hung Lo, watching from a doorway enveloped in shadow, this was a dramatic development. As Cagey John and Orpheus passed nearby Wun Hung Lo backed into the doorway.
He casually brushed aside a dung beetle as he hunkered down in the darkness. 'I must report this development to my Master thought Wun Hung Lo as he hurriedly left the docks................
Meanwhile, high in the misty mountains of you know where, Han-Del placed the milk sugar and eggs on the table and walked through to the main hall, he glanced casually behind himself and gave a wry smile as he noted that there were no footprints on the rice paper. 'Haven't lost my touch' he thought to himself as he approached the ancient figure seated in the lotus position floating two feet from the floor. "Master, I have returned as quickly as possible" said Han-Del. "How may I be of service?" "Be a good lad and get me a cup of Earl Grey will you" said the floating figure, "I'm as dry as an arab's sandshoe, once I have had refreshment we will discuss your task in earnest" Meanwhile.....back in Berlin......four tramps, one with a broken arm, become Born Again Christians and in a pulsating Techno club Amiable Bad Guy manages to give Special Agent Steve Butterknife the slip by putting down the toilet seat and climbing out the window.....................
Meanwhile back in Hong Kong......"You want any fries or drinks with that" mumbled Cagey John. Sitting at the window serving the peasants while waiting for his contact was driving Cagey John crazy with boredom.
At least the geisha girl would be waiting for him after his shift, amazing what that woman could do with ping pong balls he thought as he shifted in his seat. LS swung his Ferrari F40 into the drive through, it's burble reverberating nicely as he waited to place his order "Welcome to McDonald's, would you like to place your order" intoned Cagey John. "Gimme a Big Mac sport and don't ask!" 'Not another smartass' thought Cagey John as he punched through the order. "Next window please" The F40 burbled nicely as it moved up the que and passed by Cagey John's window. He glanced down and instantly recognised the driver, quickly he spun around in his seat so as not to be seen by the driver of the F40. '@!#$! What's he doing here in Hong Kong?'
thought Cagey John. 'This complicates things, I must contact Orpheus immediately' Hurriedly Cagey John left McDonald's and scrawled a chalk mark on the wall by Wut Kung Foo Dat Take Away. Now there was nothing to do but wait......
to be continued................
disclaimer: No dung beetles where hurt during the filming of this episode....well ok alright that was a lie, not too many then. Plenty more where that one came from anyway, it's only a dung beetle, give us a break.
[www.mediafire.com] Some say you should click it, you know you want to. [www.gp4central.com] <----GP4 Central
STARRING
in no particular order
Mortal Wombat as The Wombat Master
Vader AS Han-Del
Dumass AS Del-Han
Chris AS Steve Butterknife
Ellis AS Cagey Dave
Morbid AS Amiable Bad Guy
LS AS Sub-Hero
Neill Stratton AS Wun Hung Lo
Special Guest Appearance by Orpheus as Himself
Special Guest Cameo Appearance by Amos
Flaming Newbie Sveps AS Repete
and introducing Matic AS Dung Beetle
Techno Music BY Odin
Filmed in WOMBATVISION
EPISODE 2
Nightfall......the shadows grow longer on the bustling Hong Kong docks.....a shadowy figure slips through the crowd and approaches Cagey John as he disembarks from the tramp steamer. "Welcome to Hong Kong Sensei. The Wombat Master is unable to be here and has asked me to
meet you, I am Orpheus, the Wombat Master's right hand man, accomodation and a suitable geisha girl for your entertainment has been arranged and soon your task will be revealed. Meanwhile I am to escort you to your cover job at McDonalds on Victoria Peak". Cagey John said nothing, his steely grey eyes surveyed the docks impassively as he stood
there in his Gucci loafers, Pierre Cardin shirt and Fiorucci jeans. He gave a slight bow as acknowledgment and to the casual observer nothing had happened at all. Not so thought Wun Hung Lo, watching from a doorway enveloped in shadow, this was a dramatic development. As Cagey John and Orpheus passed nearby Wun Hung Lo backed into the doorway.
He casually brushed aside a dung beetle as he hunkered down in the darkness. 'I must report this development to my Master thought Wun Hung Lo as he hurriedly left the docks................
Meanwhile, high in the misty mountains of you know where, Han-Del placed the milk sugar and eggs on the table and walked through to the main hall, he glanced casually behind himself and gave a wry smile as he noted that there were no footprints on the rice paper. 'Haven't lost my touch' he thought to himself as he approached the ancient figure seated in the lotus position floating two feet from the floor. "Master, I have returned as quickly as possible" said Han-Del. "How may I be of service?" "Be a good lad and get me a cup of Earl Grey will you" said the floating figure, "I'm as dry as an arab's sandshoe, once I have had refreshment we will discuss your task in earnest" Meanwhile.....back in Berlin......four tramps, one with a broken arm, become Born Again Christians and in a pulsating Techno club Amiable Bad Guy manages to give Special Agent Steve Butterknife the slip by putting down the toilet seat and climbing out the window.....................
Meanwhile back in Hong Kong......"You want any fries or drinks with that" mumbled Cagey John. Sitting at the window serving the peasants while waiting for his contact was driving Cagey John crazy with boredom.
At least the geisha girl would be waiting for him after his shift, amazing what that woman could do with ping pong balls he thought as he shifted in his seat. LS swung his Ferrari F40 into the drive through, it's burble reverberating nicely as he waited to place his order "Welcome to McDonald's, would you like to place your order" intoned Cagey John. "Gimme a Big Mac sport and don't ask!" 'Not another smartass' thought Cagey John as he punched through the order. "Next window please" The F40 burbled nicely as it moved up the que and passed by Cagey John's window. He glanced down and instantly recognised the driver, quickly he spun around in his seat so as not to be seen by the driver of the F40. '@!#$! What's he doing here in Hong Kong?'
thought Cagey John. 'This complicates things, I must contact Orpheus immediately' Hurriedly Cagey John left McDonald's and scrawled a chalk mark on the wall by Wut Kung Foo Dat Take Away. Now there was nothing to do but wait......
to be continued................
disclaimer: No dung beetles where hurt during the filming of this episode....well ok alright that was a lie, not too many then. Plenty more where that one came from anyway, it's only a dung beetle, give us a break.
[www.mediafire.com] Some say you should click it, you know you want to.
[www.gp4central.com] <----GP4 CentralSorry, only registered users may post in this forum.