Top 10 ways to freak out your roommate
Posted by marcvb
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give
them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate
your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few
days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it.
Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your
roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and
look at the floor on the empty side of the room with
concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger
every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's
growing. Growing!''
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While
you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter,
''Soon, soon....''
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side
of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the
room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message
for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover,
say you can't remember what the message was. Later on,
say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again.
Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the
ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the
floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the
floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate
gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is
my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray!
You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the
room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at
your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going
somewhere?''
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden,
act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it.
Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to
watch them suffer.'''
lol
Marc
-=-=-=-=-
them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate
your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few
days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it.
Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your
roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and
look at the floor on the empty side of the room with
concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger
every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's
growing. Growing!''
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While
you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter,
''Soon, soon....''
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side
of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the
room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message
for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover,
say you can't remember what the message was. Later on,
say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again.
Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the
ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the
floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the
floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate
gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is
my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray!
You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the
room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at
your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going
somewhere?''
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden,
act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it.
Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to
watch them suffer.'''
lol
Marc
-=-=-=-=-
ROFLMAO
ooookkkkk......
Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps
Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps
Seen these lists before... still amusing though :D
THIS IS FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING
MALE BASHING JOKES
1. How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
2.. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
3. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me."
4. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
5. All wives are alike. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
6. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.
7. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
8. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Many say monogamy is the same.
9. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It is called Wedding Cake.
10. Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
11. Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said,"Dust!"
12. In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
13. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two Mothers-in-law.
14. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens in every country, son.
15. A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred lettrs. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
MALE BASHING JOKES
1. How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
2.. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
3. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me."
4. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
5. All wives are alike. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
6. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.
7. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
8. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Many say monogamy is the same.
9. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It is called Wedding Cake.
10. Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
11. Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said,"Dust!"
12. In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
13. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two Mothers-in-law.
14. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens in every country, son.
15. A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred lettrs. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
they are priceless 
Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps
Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps
ROFMAO
hmm,
im still lauthing :P
im still lauthing :P
lol
ie karnt speel :'
ie karnt speel :'
Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.