Funny - but also......tragic.
Posted by mvb
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced
to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work?)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(next life.....Pig or Praying Mantis?.....so many decisions..."Honey, I'm
home! What the....?!"
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig ... can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(No. I've decided I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over
quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(But........what about the pig??)
___Marc___
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced
to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work?)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(next life.....Pig or Praying Mantis?.....so many decisions..."Honey, I'm
home! What the....?!"
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig ... can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(No. I've decided I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over
quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(But........what about the pig??)
___Marc___
lol.
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"A cat's urine glows under a black light"
erm.. I may be missing something here, but isn't black the lack of light, therefore how can a light be black
erm.. I may be missing something here, but isn't black the lack of light, therefore how can a light be black
G'day all..
and also, The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
?!?!?!
No it's not...350 times the body length of humans would be about 600 - 700 metres, and that is not the length of the football fields I play on.
keeping with the trend, The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
I whole heartedly (:P) disagree with that statement. 30 feet would require some sort of mechanicial force, we're talking major super soaker here, the heart could not do that. Don't try and argue that one with me, I won't listen
and also, The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
?!?!?!
No it's not...350 times the body length of humans would be about 600 - 700 metres, and that is not the length of the football fields I play on.
keeping with the trend, The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
I whole heartedly (:P) disagree with that statement. 30 feet would require some sort of mechanicial force, we're talking major super soaker here, the heart could not do that. Don't try and argue that one with me, I won't listen
really? didn't know that, why isn't it just called UV light though? black light just sounds weird
If you kiss a princess you turn into a frog... so what do you kiss to turn into a pig? I wanna be a pig!! :D
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