Red alert COVID19
Posted by Lacrowe
Red Alert
Arbitrarily I write my thoughts for which I do not intentionally seek to share the situation in which I find myself but that could make you think about everything that could happen in your world
Stay at a safe distance
I never thought that one day I would be prevented from hugging a boy
yet that day has sadly arrived
I think a slap on my face would have caused me much less pain
I am experiencing a bad nightmare from which I cannot wake up despite all my efforts
I think I have always given little value to every daily gesture unaware that one day everything would have been denied me
... don't leave home
There is not only the isolation from the world that scares me but all these hours that I spend inside my room seem endless to me
The hands of my life are oriented towards infinity in that space-time that my body had never found before
From the room I can keep the window open letting in the sound of the wind
it is almost imperceptible noise but these days it seems to have conquered the whole house
I find myself sharing my melancholy in those who read all this
or perhaps for those few who have come to this point
Nobody is immortal or is sure enough to be
Destiny does not speak my language although I have tried several times to question it
maybe he became deaf because I closed in on myself too many times now
Everything has stopped like never before or I have stopped my life
Stare a debita distanza
Non avrei mai pensato che un giorno mi sarebbe stato impedito di abbracciare un ragazzo
eppure quel giorno è tristemente arrivato
Penso che uno schiaffo sul mio viso mi avrebbe procurato un dolore decisamente minore
mi trovo a vivere un brutto incubo dal quale non riesco a svegliarmi nonostante ogni mio sforzo
Ritengo di aver sempre dato poco valore ad ogni gesto quotidiano inconsapevole che un giorno ogni cosa mi sarebbe stata negata
... non uscire di casa
Non c'è solo l'isolamento dal mondo che mi spaventa ma tutte queste ore che trascorro all'interno della mia stanza mi sembrano infinite
Le lancette della mia vita sono orientate verso l'infinito in quello spazio tempo che mai il mio corpo si era trovato prima d'ora
Dalla stanza posso matenere la finestra aperta lasciando entrare il suono del vento
è un rumore quasi impercettibile ma in questi giorni sembra proprio aver conquistato l'intera casa
Mi trovo a condividere la mia malinconia in coloro che leggeranno tutto questo
o forse per quei pochi che saranno giunti a questo punto
Nessuno è immortale o è tanto sicuro da esserlo
Il destino non parla la mia lingua sebbene io ho provato più volte ad interpellarlo
forse è diventato sordo perchè mi sono chiusa in me stessa ormai troppe volte
Ogni cosa si è fermata come mai aveva fatto prima oppure sono io ad aver fermato la mia vita
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2020 04:10PM by Lacrowe.
Stay safe and stay calm. 
I have to work at home for the upcoming 2 weeks.
My Grand Prix 4 Files
I'm a total dick. How many people can say that?
I have to work at home for the upcoming 2 weeks.
Whoa, Ruben, what have you done again???
Personally I went several times into a severe depression throughout my life, due to some unpleasant happenings that happened to occur so very much for me in the past. They also caused a menthal illness (schizophrenia or SZA - I'm still unsure) and I've been in a hospital quite some times and had a multiple suicide attempts (caused maily by the decease). But the one thing I've learned so well from all my life being is that no matter how bad your current condition is, there's still a huge chance that something really good and cheerful can happen. For example, after I was rejected by a girl that I loved with the full power of my heart, I thought that my life is ended for good - and it was followed by like two really dark years indeed. But after that when I was floating at my depression I accidentally met some really unic girl, who writes incredibly well-shaped and intellegent poems (her works are actually so good that she was invitated to join the Union Of Writers Of Russia) and overall is a great interlocutor for me. She is kind of these guys that you see on TV playing the 'Jeopardy' and knowing the answers and facts about lots of stuff because she spend almost all her life in the books. It is a huge pleasure to interact with such kind of a wonderful and talented person, and it inspires me a lot since then. So, there's a lot of fun can happen during our lifes - for example right now I'm trying to re-record some fun musical stuff that I've wrote during the ages of 10-15 and it has actually some good melodies in it. I may be even go as far as to share them to the people around о: Anyway that's just some fun I have now after being depressed and doing nothing for a months since the last time I was in hospital (it happened in October-November 2019). So, don't feel like everything is over - if you had your good times at least once in your life it's never done
In genereal, from what I see around I feel like the world itself degrades somehow on the level of comunication and becomes pretty dull emotionally, even though there's that new generation of people trying to be funny/clever/nonstandard af. But the more they try to make an impression, to stand out, to shock, the more they look unimpressive to me somehow. I swear sometimes playing online multiplayer games I appreciate more the persons who stays off chat routines and don't seek for attention so desperately, as the others do. I miss the old good pre-internet era and fashion when people were more reserved and mannered in general. It includes me - I think I've degraded drasically in some aspects when I went online back in 2009. At the same time the web helped me a lot in finding some new extraordinary acquaintances and there was lot of memorable stuff for me and tons of fun as well.
Also, since I was spending a lot of time in online chat services I've noticed that it is a common issue that the naturally emotional, pleasant and soulful people suffer from depression these days. The dull and callous people have their time and their fun now, while the other ones suffer. And the far it goes, the more, btw
Anyway, take care of yourself. Even if you don't have anyone near you right now, still try to do something for yourself to cheer you up because there's always lots of rough and unpleasant stuff may come from outside - so don't make it even worse by self-neglect. I hope you'll have a cup of warm tasty tea, or a glass of good wine and feel yourself a little better. Or try to remember what made you happy before (f.e. when you was a child) and try to kind of relive it again (at least this trick did it to me with me recovering my silly teenish recordings lately). Everything's gonna be okay. Cheers
___________________________________________________________________________
For a list of EVERY download for GP4, look here:[docs.google.com]
Personally I went several times into a severe depression throughout my life, due to some unpleasant happenings that happened to occur so very much for me in the past. They also caused a menthal illness (schizophrenia or SZA - I'm still unsure) and I've been in a hospital quite some times and had a multiple suicide attempts (caused maily by the decease). But the one thing I've learned so well from all my life being is that no matter how bad your current condition is, there's still a huge chance that something really good and cheerful can happen. For example, after I was rejected by a girl that I loved with the full power of my heart, I thought that my life is ended for good - and it was followed by like two really dark years indeed. But after that when I was floating at my depression I accidentally met some really unic girl, who writes incredibly well-shaped and intellegent poems (her works are actually so good that she was invitated to join the Union Of Writers Of Russia) and overall is a great interlocutor for me. She is kind of these guys that you see on TV playing the 'Jeopardy' and knowing the answers and facts about lots of stuff because she spend almost all her life in the books. It is a huge pleasure to interact with such kind of a wonderful and talented person, and it inspires me a lot since then. So, there's a lot of fun can happen during our lifes - for example right now I'm trying to re-record some fun musical stuff that I've wrote during the ages of 10-15 and it has actually some good melodies in it. I may be even go as far as to share them to the people around о: Anyway that's just some fun I have now after being depressed and doing nothing for a months since the last time I was in hospital (it happened in October-November 2019). So, don't feel like everything is over - if you had your good times at least once in your life it's never done
In genereal, from what I see around I feel like the world itself degrades somehow on the level of comunication and becomes pretty dull emotionally, even though there's that new generation of people trying to be funny/clever/nonstandard af. But the more they try to make an impression, to stand out, to shock, the more they look unimpressive to me somehow. I swear sometimes playing online multiplayer games I appreciate more the persons who stays off chat routines and don't seek for attention so desperately, as the others do. I miss the old good pre-internet era and fashion when people were more reserved and mannered in general. It includes me - I think I've degraded drasically in some aspects when I went online back in 2009. At the same time the web helped me a lot in finding some new extraordinary acquaintances and there was lot of memorable stuff for me and tons of fun as well.
Also, since I was spending a lot of time in online chat services I've noticed that it is a common issue that the naturally emotional, pleasant and soulful people suffer from depression these days. The dull and callous people have their time and their fun now, while the other ones suffer. And the far it goes, the more, btw
Anyway, take care of yourself. Even if you don't have anyone near you right now, still try to do something for yourself to cheer you up because there's always lots of rough and unpleasant stuff may come from outside - so don't make it even worse by self-neglect. I hope you'll have a cup of warm tasty tea, or a glass of good wine and feel yourself a little better. Or try to remember what made you happy before (f.e. when you was a child) and try to kind of relive it again (at least this trick did it to me with me recovering my silly teenish recordings lately). Everything's gonna be okay. Cheers
___________________________________________________________________________
For a list of EVERY download for GP4, look here:[docs.google.com]
xD what the f*ck... I just realized that it's just a fictional story about the girl ill by COVID19 and reflecting her feelings being on quarantine
At first I thought something's really bad had happened in your personal life
Jeez, being on internet too much makes me so dumb :DDDDD
___________________________________________________________________________
For a list of EVERY download for GP4, look here:[docs.google.com]
At first I thought something's really bad had happened in your personal life
Jeez, being on internet too much makes me so dumb :DDDDD
___________________________________________________________________________
For a list of EVERY download for GP4, look here:[docs.google.com]
@Marie:
Yes, hard times for everyone who have to adapt his/her life to an unknown situation and to modify its familiar or social habits, especially for people like you. Confinement and isolation may scare you because the time flies and you can do or control nothing and that you can't see the end of this tunnel.
But you are not alone. We are all in the same train, waiting for the pandemic to stabilize and to go down down before we come back to a normal life.
Meanwhile, think to all those things that you would like to do under normal circumstances and that you can not do because of free time missing. You know: drawing, playing music, 3D, reading books, watching forgotten series etc....
Try to focus on all these little moments under normal circumstances when you said to yourself: "I would like to have time to do this or that but I can't..." and which will bring you happiness!
Today, my company decided, a bit in a hurry, that we will work at home from monday to anticipate the contamination because we are numerous. Schools and universities closed and all for those who have children etc...
I said: Why not? New experience. No morning drive, no traffic jam, more free time to progress on personal projects the evenings and the week-ends!
Let's try to stay positive, standing in solidarity with people in need and to focu on things and moments which bring us joy (sometimes , new moments to take care of ourselves).
If some things have stopped, this is temporarily... and new unexpected positive moments into our lives may happen during this experience...
Take care Miss Lacrowe and stay positive!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Yes, hard times for everyone who have to adapt his/her life to an unknown situation and to modify its familiar or social habits, especially for people like you. Confinement and isolation may scare you because the time flies and you can do or control nothing and that you can't see the end of this tunnel.
But you are not alone. We are all in the same train, waiting for the pandemic to stabilize and to go down down before we come back to a normal life.
Meanwhile, think to all those things that you would like to do under normal circumstances and that you can not do because of free time missing. You know: drawing, playing music, 3D, reading books, watching forgotten series etc....
Try to focus on all these little moments under normal circumstances when you said to yourself: "I would like to have time to do this or that but I can't..." and which will bring you happiness!
Today, my company decided, a bit in a hurry, that we will work at home from monday to anticipate the contamination because we are numerous. Schools and universities closed and all for those who have children etc...
I said: Why not? New experience. No morning drive, no traffic jam, more free time to progress on personal projects the evenings and the week-ends!
Let's try to stay positive, standing in solidarity with people in need and to focu on things and moments which bring us joy (sometimes , new moments to take care of ourselves).
If some things have stopped, this is temporarily... and new unexpected positive moments into our lives may happen during this experience...
Take care Miss Lacrowe and stay positive!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Marie,
I think that the others won't understand the french language but I understand your need to express your feelings regarding the actual situation and your isolation; and someone from outside to read it and to understand it.
I am glad if my words have been a little shoulder to allievate your burden... at least, to be understood...
I hope that you are well surrounded by family and friends.
This is a rough time to go through but you will find back your freedom of movement and spirit. Just a matter of time. We all hope as soon as possible...
Take care of yourself.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I think that the others won't understand the french language but I understand your need to express your feelings regarding the actual situation and your isolation; and someone from outside to read it and to understand it.
I am glad if my words have been a little shoulder to allievate your burden... at least, to be understood...
I hope that you are well surrounded by family and friends.
This is a rough time to go through but you will find back your freedom of movement and spirit. Just a matter of time. We all hope as soon as possible...
Take care of yourself.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
God bless everyone in this terrible time
Stay safe everybody ...
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