Bring back 'the c*ck'

In terms of the Feed options, in Freeview if you press red on BBC1 and then select the Sport's Multiscreen or whatever it's called for F1 it will transport you straight to 301 and then pop up with the options for the commentaries. However if you just go onto 301 then it won't. But I don't know how that might work on the Freeview boxes since I've got it combined with the TV.

> However no other sport dumbs it down for the fans.
> Boxing commentators never ask each other "so just
> how important is it not to get punched in the
> face?" and football commentators never ask "so
> just how important is it to actually have
> possession?" No other sport treats the fans like
> that, so why did we have to put up with it?

Do you know why that is? Because the aim of football is to put the round thing in the cuboid. There are no real factors. Formula 1 has millions of tiny little factors and you damn well know this. EVERYONE knows why a football team are winning, because they've banged in more goals. But many of my friends said last year 'Hamilton's s**t this year isn't he?' and my reply was 'no his car isn't as good for reasons A, B and C'.

> "Martin, explain to us how important tyres are".

You've used that once, find another please...

Do you know why that is? Because the aim of football is to put the round thing in the cuboid. There are no real factors. Formula 1 has millions of tiny little factors and you damn well know this. EVERYONE knows why a football team are winning, because they've banged in more goals. But many of my friends said last year 'Hamilton's s**t this year isn't he?' and my reply was 'no his car isn't as good for reasons A, B and C'.

And when I watch the Super Bowl I have *no* idea in the slightest what is going on, but I don't expect the commentators to dumb it down and alienate the sports proper fans to cater for the uninformed viewers.

If you are going to dumb down football to "putting the round thing in the cuboid" then F1 can be dumbed down to "driving round some roads faster than the others". Suddenly F1 doesn't seem to have as many factors to it, does it?

You've used that once, find another please...

Why should I? Whilst you are coming up with an answer, here is the worst bit of commentary in motorsport, ever, from 2 different people at the same time.





Shame that one cuts off before Ant finishes talking about himself.



The only valid complain I've seen in Gavs, in that he can't record and manage the feeds properly due to the complex way we receive them. But I'm sure Gav will also admit, he is a pretty special case (lawl, not like that) in that his needs are a bit more complex and specific than most. But anyone who has access to these options and just wants to watch the GP, but refuses to utilise the options which BBC provides for these exact complaints is just being a spoilt little brat.

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> And when I watch the Super Bowl I have *no* idea
> in the slightest what is going on, but I don't
> expect the commentators to dumb it down and
> alienate the sports proper fans to cater for the
> uninformed viewers.

Does the Super Bowl take up 3 hours of terrestrial daytime weekend television nearly every fortnight though?

> If you are going to dumb down football to "putting
> the round thing in the cuboid" then F1 can be
> dumbed down to "driving round some roads faster
> than the others". Suddenly F1 doesn't seem to have
> as many factors to it, does it?

There are a simple set of rules to football, and nearly all of it is ALL under human control.

Formula 1 is not, is it? We wish it was, but it's not, and that's why a little dumbing down is neccesary, for people who would think 'Well WHY is he 3 seconds off the pace in the same car? he must be S**T'. You and I would both be able to give a reason for that, but someone who has flicked through the 5 terrestrial channels and decided to watch the F1 would not.

THAT is why F1 commentary needs to appeal to all sorts of people, fans and non-fans. Legard BORES fans, and doesn't interest the common viewer. Allen amused fans and welcomed the common viewer.

And here's my counter-video. Martin afterwards demonstrates how much he preffered working with Allen. Instead of just saying 'um, yeah' or correcting one of Legard's increasingly common mistakes, he takes on what Allen has said and is probably about to tell us fans something we can relate to.

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="

&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="

&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

edit: buggered up my embedding but yeah.





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/06/2010 01:54AM by superchargednut.

Does the Super Bowl take up 3 hours of terrestrial daytime weekend television nearly every fortnight though?

Funny how you aren't even using the same standards to judge the standards now. Does the Chinese GP take yp 3 hours of terrestrial daytime weekend TV nearly every weekend? No. It does it once a year. Same with the Super Bowl. What you mean is F1 takes up a slot every couple of weeks. So your real question should be "Does American Football take up 3 hours of terrestrial daytime weekend television nearly every fortnight?". No. It does that every weekend, and a f**k load more than 3 hours.

Formula 1 is not, is it? We wish it was, but it's not, and that's why a little dumbing down is neccesary, for people who would think 'Well WHY is he 3 seconds off the pace in the same car? he must be S**T'. You and I would both be able to give a reason for that, but someone who has flicked through the 5 terrestrial channels and decided to watch the F1 would not.

Bullsh*t. Once again, I refer you to American football, possibly one of the most complex sports in use today. It doesn't dumb it down for them, so why should it be dumbed down for us? And before you bang on about tyres, cars and other BS, I'll refer you to NASCAR. Even NASCAR, with its stereotype of having stupid redneck fans had much more technical commentary and coverage than James ever achieved at any point during his commentary career. They never took it to such horrific levels.

And here's my counter-video. Martin afterwards demonstrates how much he preffered working with Allen. Instead of just saying 'um, yeah' or correcting one of Legard's increasingly common mistakes, he takes on what Allen has said and is probably about to tell us fans something we can relate to.

Funny. I seen that video and still thought it was medicore at best. Shame there isn't videos of the times when Allen practically had his cock out and Brundle did say "um, yeah" (ironic that he used those exact words that you chose to highlight Legards mistakes). But I guess that is those good old rose tints that forget about how many mistakes and cringe-worth BS moments that Allen produced eh?

And since you refused to address it, I'll report my previous point - You have a choice. Change the commentary track and stop acting like a spoilt little child. Unless you are on an AOL 56K connection you can get it for FREE online. We've got the best TV coverage ever in the history of motorsports, for free, and a way of solving the commentary 'issue' (except in extreme situations such as Gavs), and people are still bitching and whining.

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Did you take in the word TERRESTRIAL? I've never seen American football on BBC, ITV or ch. 4

Even ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE FOOTBALL only gets a highlights show at near enough 11pm on a weekend. It doesn't often take up the same slot on a Saturday and Sunday like the F1 coverage does.

Don't throw terms like 'spoilt little child' around, you never learn, and you always seem to have to bring name/term calling into POINT OF VIEW arguments. 'Spoilt' yes, that's fine, but don't patronise me with 'little child' I've been trying to put together reasonable arguments, with no expectation of changing your mind, yet I always seem to get the same reaction from you. How old are you? My business here is done, now to take off those rose-tinted specs and climb into bed.

F1 ITV was dumbed down cuz the Aussis got our commentary. Simples.

Case closed.

---

"Trulli was slowing down like he wanted to have a picnic" LOL

as ive said before, i would much prefer allen. legard is dull, monotonous, repetitive, you can just hear martin trying to butt in and say something.

croft and davidson i listen to at the moment. imo croft is the best f1 comm. i have heard, better then murray even.

I.Tz No Problem
For all your home and business I.T needs
[www.itznoproblem.com]
enquiry@itznoproblem.com

Did you take in the word TERRESTRIAL? I've never seen American football on BBC, ITV or ch. 4

I didn't think I'd ever have to explain geography, but fine:



This country has far more sports coverage on its channels and still doesn't manage to dumb it down. Following me yet?

Don't throw terms like 'spoilt little child' around, you never learn, and you always seem to have to bring name/term calling into POINT OF VIEW arguments. 'Spoilt' yes, that's fine, but don't patronise me with 'little child' I've been trying to put together reasonable arguments, with no expectation of changing your mind, yet I always seem to get the same reaction from you. How old are you? My business here is done, now to take off those rose-tinted specs and climb into bed.

BS. First of all it's "LIKE" a little child. This is not calling anyone a child, but how people are acting towards not having everything there way. Secondly, the fact you have a choice (which you still have refused to acknowledge) and refuse to utilise it is not an opinion. It is not a point of view. It is a fact. So once again, stop acting like a spoilt little child who isn't getting everything his own way and use the option. So far the only one who has provided a reason why he can't use the option is Gav.

You don't like Legard. Fine. Don't listen to him. You have a choice. But for those of us who aren't bothered by Legard, why should we put up with having Allen back just because of your refusal to use the options which the BBC have provided?

F1 ITV was dumbed down cuz the Aussis got our commentary. Simples.

Case closed.

lmao. That be fighting talk!

croft and davidson i listen to at the moment. imo croft is the best f1 comm. i have heard, better then murray even.

Careful now! Some people might mug you for that! Thats like saying Alesi wasn't awesome. You just don't say it. :p

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superchargednut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> > "Martin, explain to us how important tyres
> are".
>
> You've used that once, find another please...

"Big up for Fisichella, eh, Martin?" (San Marino 2003)

Martin Brundle: "I think I can see blisters too on the rear tyres of Trulli." James Allen: "Just tell us what you mean by blisters then." (Germany 2003)

"And look at this: he's nowheresville - six point two seconds down." (Japan 2003)

"And the alarm bells will be ringing at Jenson Buttonville." (Malaysia 2004)

"And you see one of the mechanics pulling the fuel man off." (Spain 2004)

"The only racing driver - or only Formula One driver - to wear an earring in his left ear. A twenty-one-year-old with plenty of attitude, Christian Klien." (Spain 2004)

"They come to win and win they have done big." (Hungary 2004)

"Big up to Bob Bell." (Malaysia 2005)

"So Lewis Hamilton hasn't just taken pole position here in America. He's taken pole position with an exclamation mark." (USA 2007)

"And so it all comes down to this: a season in one day." (Brazil 2007)

Counting the lights coming on at the start: "Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf." (Germany 2008)

[Of the Catalunya circuit] "An industrial estate, really. It's a bit like Milton Keynes. With dust." (Spain 2003)

"The whoops and hollers - the sound bounces and echoes off the buildings here at Monaco like ghosts whipping round a town centre." (Monaco 2003)

"Both Montreal and Monaco circuits, which are not particularly downforce-dependent,..." (Europe 2003)

"Michael Schumacher there, kicking up the spray as he goes into his first flying lap of the weekend qualifying lap of the weekend." (France 2003)

"Across the start-finish line then, always on the kerb charismatically here at Silverstone." (Britain 2003)

"There's Flavio Briatore, like an expectant father, waiting for the birth of another grand prix victory." (Hungary 2003)

"You can see the leaves on the outside of the race track, lying everywhere. It's a good job we're not running a railway here, isn't it? Who knows what might happen?" (Italy 2003)

"He [Jenson Button] is now closing right in on the back of Juan Montoya. The gap is tumbling like a fruit machine." (Bahrain 2004)

"There's Rubens Barrichello: eyes closed, focussing." (San Marino 2004)

"Pantano sawing away at the wheel there, like an actor on the stage." (Spain 2004)

"The Michelin mirage of Monza lasted 41 laps here." (Italy 2004)

"If he carries on like this, he'll be on the front two rows." (Brazil 2004)

Jim Rosenthal: "James, it ain't half hot, mum." James Allen: "Absolutely. It certainly isn't, Jim." (Bahrain 2005)

"Let's see what Webber can do, standing up in his seat." (San Marino 2005)

"Well, it's certainly been a race in which the pendulum has swung forwards and backwards." (France 2005)

"I understand the team will be called 'Honda' as of January the first next year and that's terrific news for British motorsport." (Japan 2005)

"They [Renault] can really spin the dice and do exactly what they want." (China 2005)

"He hasn't really recovered from it psychologically-or-anything-else-wise." (Bahrain 2006)

"You can see Montoya and Raikkonen. They are the dark horses in every sense." (Malaysia 2006)

"Alonso just taking a moment to tie a shoelace. We've seen that before. No question about his fitness though." (Spain 2006)

"Schumacher rammed one up the inside of Rubens right here, into that chicane on the last lap and it was quite some time before Rubens would talk to him again after that." (Monaco 2006)

[On Jacques Villeneuve's recent wedding] "Recently got married, as I said, to his girlfriend. Hasn't known her all that long. Johanna, her name. It's a bit spooky - that's the same name as his mother." (Britain 2006)

"Here at Silverstone, Fernando Alonso showed his class. He really owns Formula One at the moment." (Britain 2006)

"Controversy is Formula One's middle name." (Canada 2006)

After the multi-car accident at the first corner: "It's a good job it's not the first race of the two." (with thanks to Gianni Fasulo for pointing this one out to us) (USA 2006)

"We were saying earlier on I wouldn't want to try and write down the top ten on a piece of paper but even less now" [this was in the third session of qualifying, when only the top ten cars were running] (Germany 2006)

"[Positions] one, two and three separated by a handkerchief!" (China 2006)

On Alonso trying to get past Heidfeld: "It's like bothering a salmon this, isn't it? He's trying to get it to, sort of, er..., to bite." (France 2007)
"We've got a number of cars occupying the same piece of track here." (Europe 2007)

"As Jean-Pierre Satie said in the film 'Grand Prix' back in '66, 'Risks are always risks.'" (Japan 2007)

"He [Alonso] goes second by - what? - eleven thousandths of a second. Try and count that." (China 2007)

"...the tiny kingdom of Finland..." [which is (a) a republic, and (2) 40% bigger than the UK (or 16.27 metric Waleses)] (Brazil 2007)

"Last year, Martin, it was Massa who had a technical glitch that ruined his qualifying and his race; this year Raikkonen is, er, looking at the sword." (Australia 2008)

"He [Kubica]'s always there, like a bit of chewing gum on the bottom of your shoe." (Canada 2008)

"It is an absolute truth of modern Formula One life that whenever two or three are gathered together, they will discuss the merits of Felipe Massa." (Europe 2008)

"You can't serve a stop-and-go in the pits - a drive-through, I beg your pardon - in the pits." (Belgium 2008)

After Martin Brundle had described Lewis Hamilton's right front tyre: "Just explain what you mean by 'blistered'." (Italy 2008)

"Welcome, everybody, to the world's first night race." [Le Mans 24 Hours? Anybody ever heard of that?] (Singapore 2008)

"They've all seen what Coulthard can do on the soft tyre on this improving track. I hope for his sake it doesn't end up with him sliding down like a fruit machine." (Japan 2008)

"Very charismatic trophies, these." (Japan 2008)

"It's very much an old-fashioned circuit, where everything is on top of everything else." (Brazil 2008)

[www.dotdotdotcomma.com]

:D

---

I always vouched for Allen. I'd be happy if he came back, ecstatic, infact.

If there is a way to listen to the Oz audio and watch the BBC feed and pre-race, I am all for it. Even if it means watching and streaming online.

The trouble I find with Legard is that he doesn't seem to respect Brundle.

Sure, the man isn't owed or due any by any means, but if Martin is talking, why does Legard override Brundle, halfway through something interesting or general talking with a 'there he goes, up the hill, round turn one, turn two.... and turn three...'.

He is disrespectful, and counter it with crap.

Very dull, not good for F1 at all.

Allen at least *acted* dumb, yet was incredibly insightful. He worked in the pits, like Kravitz.

Now there is a name I would NOT mind stepping in to assist on Brundle's weekend off - Kravitz. At least one shot, just to see.


Jenson drives it like he owns it; Lewis drives it like he stole it

superchargednut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Did you take in the word TERRESTRIAL? I've never
> seen American football on BBC, ITV or ch. 4
>


Superbowl has been on all 3 channels at one time, both Channel 4 and ITV used to show regular season highlights/live games (think only Ch4 did live games). BBC website does do highlights towards the end of the regular season as well.

The only issue I have with Legard is that he still has the radio commentator mindset (understandable considering he did F1 for 5Live for so many years) I still find him miles better than Mr James "He's throwing polystyrene bricks at the screen!!" Allen

The set of Allen quotes above aren't even that bad Infact i'd still rather hear most of them than what Legard gives me.

The reason i'm acting like a 'spoilt little child' is because i'm admitting I was wrong about my opinion of Allen, and as you can see, i'm not the only one who regrets signing the 'stop the c*ck' petition. If I felt that Legard was AT LEAST an improvement, then I would. not. be. complaining. In MY VIEW, we managed to go downhill and that is why I posted this topic.

EC83, those quotes are FANTASTIC. Reading them highlights exactly why I prefer Allen to Legard. They have character, originality and fun. Yes, some of them could easily be perceived as irritating. But that's a minor inconvenience when they're full of character, originality and fun.

Things that Jonathan Legard lacks:-
1) Character
2) Originality
3) Fun

4) Knowledge of Formula 1 - although with Martin in the commentary box, this isn't such an issue. At least James Allen knew his stuff.

---

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Please find us on [en.wikipedia.org] for more information.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/06/2010 10:36PM by Locke Cole.

superchargednut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The set of Allen quotes above aren't even that bad
>

Maybe they don't look all that bad when written on a page, no. But when put into the context Allen put them in and said the way he said them, they never failed to be unbelievably annoying. Which is why, IMO anyway, he was - is - such a terrible commentator.

---

I'm not sure what's worse, that some of those quotes are worse than I remember or that some people are highlighting them as if they're something positive! There's being emotional in commentating and then there's trying to use metaphors, back tracking and sounding like a complete tit!

---

I never saw the problem with James Allen. Most people won't know what blistering tyres mean, so it was good of Allen to ask Brundle as Brundle can explain those kind of things a lot better than Allen could himself.

I agree with the Legard not respecting Brundle thing, he cuts him up way too much.

The only thing i didn't like about him was his overuse of the analogy 'seperated by a ciggarette paper' (or something along those lines).

_______________________________________________________________________

EC83 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> superchargednut Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
>101 examples of Allen trying to be Murray, and failing.

Here, i condensed your post

---

DaveEllis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
no other sport dumbs it down for the fans. Boxing commentators never ask each other "so just how important is it not to get punched in the face?"

Haha, brilliant. Just brilliant.

[Website]

chet Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> F1 ITV was dumbed down cuz the Aussis got our
> commentary. Simples.
>
> Case closed.


If I may reopen the case briefly and squirt it all over your face, we get the BBC commentary.