21 Reasons why the English Language is Hard to Learn

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
desert.
7. Since there was no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer
line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow
to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a
tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate
friend?






LS's Tip of the week
ESSENTIAL OILS aren't essential unless you're an engine, a gearbox or a twat

too true!!




Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps

My students would agree, though I know at least a 1000 reasons why Kiswahili is even harder to learn ...



Post Edited (02-03-03 19:05)

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

lol

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Lol i seem to remeber paolo posting one of these before, this one is great too (or is that "to", or maybe even "two"

English, when you look at it is mind boggling. Espically when teachers try and tell you there are 3 clauses

there their ther?
to too two

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i am english, not difficult for me to learn :P

to, too, two
where, were,
there, their,
know, now, no

anyone got any to add?

there their ther?

ther doesnt exist :P

I posted this quote before, but I simply love it:

****

A lady lecturing on the Irish language drew attention to the fact (I mentioned it myself as long ago as 1925) that while the average English speaker gets along with a mere 400 words, the Irish-speaking peasant uses 4,000. Considering what most English speakers can achieve with their tiny fund of noises, it is a nice speculation to what extremity one would be reduced if one were locked up for a day with an Irish-speaking bore and bereft of all means of committing murder or suicide.
My point, however, is this. The 400/4,000 ratio is fallacious; 400/400,000 would be more like it.
... [For example]
Your paltry English speaker apprehends sea-going craft through the infantile cognition which merely distinguishes the small from the big. If it's small, it's a boat, and if it's large, it's a ship. In his great book, An tOileánach, however, the uneducated Tomás

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

where , wear, we're






LS's Tip of the week
ESSENTIAL OILS aren't essential unless you're an engine, a gearbox or a twat

I hate to contradict you, but there is a phonetical difference between where/wear and we're.
I don't have the proper fonts, so I'll show it to you this way:

the first is where/wear, the second one is we're.



The interesting symbol in both transcriptions is this upside down "e". It is called "centre vowel" or "Schwa". The schwa is the vowel sound in many lightly pronounced unaccented syllables in words of more than one syllable. It is sometimes signified by the pronunciation "uh" or symbolized by an upside-down rotated e.

The a is schwa in adept.

The e is schwa in synthesis.

The i is schwa in decimal.

The o is schwa in harmony.

The u is schwa in medium.

The y is schwa in syringe.


Authorities vary somewhat in the range of what is considered a schwa sound, but the above examples are generally accepted.

It is called centre vowel, since it is in thecentre position in the vowel chart.



This chart is derived from the position your tongue has in your mouth when producing a vowel sound. /i/ is a close front vowel, that means the tip of the tongue is high in front, whereas /a/ sounds are produced in the lower back of your mouth (back open).



Post Edited (02-03-03 22:01)

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

depends on the regional accent more than anything, but i get what your saying.

if we are talking about the perfect english then maybe, but theres a bastardised english language nowadays thanks to american tv

maybe its laziness that the correct pronounciations are being dropped, but what did make me chcuckle was when soemone pointed out the works of shakespear and how all the toffs and luvvies go to watch it at the theatre and act in it on stage, play the parts with well spoken manner and upclass prounciations.

when in fact shakespear is from stratford upon avon which is the black country and they all talk in a very unique way






LS's Tip of the week
ESSENTIAL OILS aren't essential unless you're an engine, a gearbox or a twat

You are right, LS. I was, of course, refering to RP (received pronounciation = standard British English or commonly known as "Oxford English"

In fact Shakespeare's English was very to close to what is now spoken in the USA.

All emigrant languages tend to be linguistically nostalgic, preserving archaic forms of pronunciation: the `hillbillies' really did preserve forms of English which date back to Shakespeare, although what they do with those forms is another question.

Many of the "distinctive" phonetic features of American English are in fact from the British Isles. The feature that most Americans (and some Canadians) recognize as distinctively English is the nearly silent final 'r', making "water" sound like "watuh". This pattern is characteristic of a dialect triangle formed by Cambridge, Oxford and London, and of areas to the east of that triangle. The same pattern is found in areas of the U.S. and Canada which were settled by emigrants from eastern England, such as Boston and Plymouth.

The final 'r' that we associate with American English is quite distinct as a kind of growl produced near the back of the mouth. This sound is standard in the west of England (Shakespeare would have growled his final 'r' sounds), in the north (Wordsworth and the Brontes) and in Ireland. Most of the British settlement in North America in the nineteenth century came from the north and west of England and from Ireland (especially the six northern counties of Ulster). This emigration provided the dominant settlement and the dominant dialect features of Ontario and of the mid-western U.S.

source: [[]]





Post Edited (02-03-03 22:18)

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

Thou art a base, proud, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave... glass-gazing, superservicable, finical rogue, one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that woudst be a bawd, in the way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of knave, beggar, coward, pandar and the son and heir of a mongrel rat-catcher. In short, thou art a villain.


not heard that on star trek yet :S


but i did find this bizzarre page whilst surfin for shakespearian quotes


[www.lle.mdx.ac.uk]






LS's Tip of the week
ESSENTIAL OILS aren't essential unless you're an engine, a gearbox or a twat

sounds more like Black Adder

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

erm, im not even gunna atempt to join this :P

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lol, dUmAsS is confoosled

have a pic of Avril, it'll help





Sim

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All Hail The New York Giants - Winners of Superbowl XXI, XXV and XLII!

"I'd love to know what goes on in that crazy head of yours sometimes, Sim..." - Locke Cole

hey, i own confoosled its my word :P jk

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Vader... here is some English that'll confuse your students:

Tek care, lambs ont road