100 Zany Ways to Phone in a Pizza Order
Posted by Vader
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while drinking something.
63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
66. Be vague in your order.
67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
85. Haggle.
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life insurance.
88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious swapping.
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, 100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."
REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while drinking something.
63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
66. Be vague in your order.
67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
85. Haggle.
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life insurance.
88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious swapping.
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, 100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."
REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
LOL
Things to do at the drivethru
Drive through the drive thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
Ask prices of everything on the menu then order something that you did not ask the price for.
Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with your door open, pay with your door open. Roll down window and take food through the window.
Go to McDonalds and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped.
Order in another language. Be careful what neighbourhood you are in.
When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window shopping and drive on.
Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.
Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said "May I take your order?"
When asked if they can take your order say "No, why can't I take yours?"
If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.
Pretend like your car broke down. Ask for assistance in moving it. When they come out, drive away.
Tell them you have to use the bathroom.
Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it.
Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
When they hand you your food, hand them a bag back with all the trash from your car in it.
REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
Drive through the drive thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
Ask prices of everything on the menu then order something that you did not ask the price for.
Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with your door open, pay with your door open. Roll down window and take food through the window.
Go to McDonalds and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped.
Order in another language. Be careful what neighbourhood you are in.
When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window shopping and drive on.
Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.
Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said "May I take your order?"
When asked if they can take your order say "No, why can't I take yours?"
If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.
Pretend like your car broke down. Ask for assistance in moving it. When they come out, drive away.
Tell them you have to use the bathroom.
Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it.
Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
When they hand you your food, hand them a bag back with all the trash from your car in it.
REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
Oh dear, I might see this coming as I work in my local McDonalds!
Great list btw! lol!
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Did your birth certificate come with an apology letter from Durex?
Great list btw! lol!
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Did your birth certificate come with an apology letter from Durex?
Ways to piss off movie theatre staff
10. Get overly hyper. Jump up and down the halls. Giggle a lot. Make sure someone on the staff is watching. Do this often.
9. Proceed normally when ordering candy. When you get the candy, ask, "What about [insert any name here]'s candy?" Insist that [insert name here] is your poor friend that can't afford candy and that [insert name here] did, in fact order candy.
8. Order popcorn. As soon as the person puts it on the counter or hands it to you, "accidentally" spill it. If you're really daring, complain about their poor service.
7. When speaking to a ticket salesperson, insist that a movie from years ago is playing and that you want a ticket for it.
6. Gaze suspiciously at a staff member or manager for a while. Go up to him/her and ask, "Are you a stalker?" If they deny this, continue asking him/her the same question.
5. Act as if you have a crush on one of the staff members. Often pass by them giggling. Ask the person for their autograph, ask to marry them, anything along the lines of that. If the person is taking tickets, refuse to give them a ticket until they've given you a kiss, if you'd like.
4. The minute you step in, take a big breath and sing loud to any song that comes to mind. Dance with waiting customers.
3. Bring large crowds of friends [and their friends, and their friends' friends, etc.] to swarm the entrance lobby.
2. Insist that you had a pre-paid ticket or a pre-paid candy bar.
1. Hold a group activity that involves loud noises or many people. Such an activity is a conga-line.
Ways to make people think ur crazy
1. when walking bye a teacher in ur class start talking to ur self and when they look at u say "this is a private conversation if u dont mind."
2. when going on a road trip or just going somewhere far away look out the window and when someone looks at u make a really weird face then look away like nothing happend.
3.go into a walmart and buy a box of tampons and either go out into the parking lot or stay in the store and shoot them at ppl walking by...(open them and slam ur hand against the bottom) if u do it right they fly really far.
4. throw lemon heads at the movie theater screen.
5. walk in the middle of a street (not a main one) and when a car comes up behind u dont get out of its way just keep on walking in the middle and after awhile move (ppl get mad when u do this).
6. in the school halways or places where there r alot of ppl scream word phrazes that dont have a meaning like weasle butter or jelly snake.
7. wave to ppl u dont know and if they wave back wink and smile at them.
8. pretned ur reading a book in public and when someone walks by get up and follow them around for awhile.
9. (for girls or guys w/ long hair) go out in public and put ur hair up in pig tails, roll on of ur pant legs up and skip around all over the place.
10. get a white sheet (make sure its not see threw) rap it around ur body and run around yelling toga toga toga (its funnier in public)
Funny things to do when the pizza delivery dude comes
1. Put signs on your lawn saying "Please Deliver to Door"
2. Put signs on your lawn saying "The potatoes have gone", etc.
3. Pretend not to speak English
4. Write "insert here" on the outside of the mail slot
5. Pretend to be deaf
6. Insist on paying in pennies
7. Insist that they WERE 30 mins late
8. Dress up in your grandmothers clothes
9. Don't wear clothes
10. Play a kazoo, sax, trumpet or horn heralding the 'Pizza King's arrival
11. Act scared of the sound of the doorbell
12. Tell the delivery guy that you are his new master
13. Say "I'm not hungry anymore"
14. Invite him in to join you
15. If he doesn't, follow him back to the pizza place, honking the tune in which you heralded his arrival
16. Eat the pizza at the door
17. Immediately place the pizza in your pants singing "hot hot hot"
18. You've seen American Pie right?
who said you had to limit urself 2 apple?
19. Open the box and complain to the delivery boy that they're is no mold to shave and no bubbles to pop.
20. Pretend to be a cop
21. Pretend to be a criminal
22. Pretend to be any animal of your choice
23. Dance with the delivery boy
24. Kiss the delivery boy
25. Answer the door, RIGHT from the shower
Fun things to do in public
1. When a really large person if backing up, make beeping sounds.
2. While someone is giving a really boring speech in class, start bobbing your head like a parakeet.
3. Give a seagull in the parking lot some TUMS and watch it blow up.
4. Walk through a store switching price tag stickers and watch people yell at the store clerk saying the product is cheaper.
5. In the elevator, lean against the button panel and pretend like you are deaf while everyone is yelling at you for going up and down.
6. Go up to a stranger and tell them that when you open up double stuff oreos your whole city fills up with cream. (even though the cream is hard)
7. While at McDonalds, pull through the drive thru and when they give you your food, make the nerdiest smile and say do you love to see me smile?
8. While at any fast-food place, order really expensive stuff and get out of line so the person in front of you pays for it
9. When at a store, fart really loud and point to the nearest person.
10. Tell everyone that you have a dog that talks english and that
Things to do when ur bored
1: Snap your fingers next to other peoples ears
and see how long it takes them to exploded.
2: Stand on your roof screaming your friends phone number
and see how long it takes them to answer.
3: Cover your kitchen floor in soap and water ,then strip down to your
underwear and have slidding races with your best friend.
4: Run out side and bark loudly until every dog in the neighborhood joins in,repeat every time the stop.
5: Stand in the middle of the street singing loudly,then when someone comes outside to see what is going on,stop and look around,and then walk away looking confused.
6: Sneak out of your bedroom window and then run around your house screaming loudly so everyone can hear you,"I'm free,I'm free."then go back inside your bedroom window and walkcalmly through the house like nothing ever happen,and if anybody ask,deny everything.
7: Go some place public and sit quitly and then scream as loud as you can,"WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY" then return to being quit
like nothing ever happened.
8: Put super glue on a siblings toothbrush.
9: Play frisbee with your older siblings new CDs.
10: Call up random people and see if how long it takes you to convince them your their long lost cousin.
Ways to piss off teachers
1. Call them names when they they have their back turned, and do it in a disguised voice, then when they ask about it, pretend it was the old man sitting in the back of the classroom and pretend you don't know what shes talking about when she says there is no guy.
2. Throw pencils in the ceiling above her/his desk.
3. Get the whole class to do this: whenever the teacher says a certain word, have everyone clap twice right after the word is said (examlpe: if the teacher teaches spanish, use the word por favor or something said often.)
4. Flip keys caps on the keyboard upside down.
5. Or just steal them.
6. Constantly click your pen, and when he/she yells at you, pretend that you weren't doing anything and threaten to go to the office for harassment.
7. Yell out phrases such as: "no I will not make out with you (and then say the teachers name)" or "You leg-spreadin, cum-suckin, pussy-licking, titty-flopping bitch".
8. Start talking to your pen or folder or notebook etc., and then when the teacher says something, totally deny the whole thing.
9. Have everyone in the class talk the whole time and not pay attention, and then when the teacher gets so mad that he/she calls the principle act like little angels and say that you have no idea what he/she is talking about.
10. Start talking in a foreign language (but not the language the teacher is teaching if any, or example: start talking french in spanish, or spanish in any classes like math or science).
15 WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF CLASS:
1. Bring a skillet and bacon to chem class, and use the Bunsen burner to make yourself a BLT.
2. Whenever you ask a question, stand up and pretend to talk into a mike.
3. Explain to your teacher, "This class would be so much more interesting if you were a BSB."
4. Memorize your teacher's outfit and wear the exact same thing the next day.
5. Ask, "Don't you think its kinda convienient that we only read books that you have already read?"
6. Every time anyone answers a question, say, "Is that your final answer?"
7. Hang a Do not disturb sign on your back.
8. Find out your teacher's first name, and start using it--all the time.
9. Wear your prom clothes to gym class.
10. Say you didn't do your homework because you're on a homework fast.
11. Answer all questions with Stinky, your homeade sock puppet.
12. Ask your teacher what he really wanted to do with his life.
13. Tell your teacher you can't take notes because your nails are drying.
14. In science class, start a game of "Spin the dissected worm."
15. Clear your throat every time your teacher says "um."
Things to do in an elevator
1. Say in a scared voice, "you're one of them, aren't you?" and back away. (when there's only 1 person in the elevator)
2. Turn on your CD player and sing along very loudly.
3. Stare at someone for a while and then yell, "Stop staring at me"
4. Bring a cell phone and mutter into it suspiciously, and say loudly "are you sure this line is safe?"
5. Point at someone and laugh hysterically, and when they look your way, pretend you're not doing anything.
6. Complain that your shoes are uncomfortable, take them off and ask someone to hold them for you.
7. Ask someone to push a floor button for you, and when they do scream, "NO NO YOU FOOL I WANTED 5"
8. Ask your invisible friend if they saw Friends last night, and talk about the highlights of the show.
9. Cower in the corner and whimper, scream every time the door opens.
10. Pretend you have extreme claustrophobia: Cling to the people near you and scream that the walls are closing in on you.
40 more things to do in an elevator
40. Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
39. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
38. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
37. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
36. Bring a chair along.
35. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
34. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
33. Do Tai Chi exercises.
32. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
31. Meow occasionally.
30. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
29. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
28. Play the harmonica.
27. Say "Ding" at each floor.
26. Lean against the button panel.
25. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
24. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
23. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other people "through" it.
22. Start a sing-along.
21. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
20. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
19. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
18. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
17. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming"
16. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
15. One word: Flatulence
14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness"
13. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
12. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
10. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
9. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, blasted, all of you just shut UP""
8. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
7. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
6. Wear "x-ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
5. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
4. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
3. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on"
2. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops"
1. Draw a little square on the floor and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
10 things to do in a grocery store
10: Yell out loud, "Food fight", and throw vegatables at unsuspecting people.
9: Put slices of cheese (like Kraft Singles)in a magazine and walk to where a
lot of people are. Open the magazine, make the cheese fall on the floor and yell, "I won I won I got the Super Jackpot"
8: If you see someone reaching for something, stand behind them and yell, "Don't touch that"
7: Fill up a shopping cart with food and leave it in the middle of an aisle with a sign saying, "Free Food"
6: Pretend you have a seizure.
5: Stick your head in one side of an aisle and cover it up with boxes or something, and when someone takes one, poke your head out and yell, "Peekaboo" or "Boo"
4: Wander down the aisles talking to your self saying, "I vunder vere zee veeners are..."
3: Get a cucumber and a knife, slice the cucumber into slices and put them over your eyes. Walk through the store and say, "Uhhhh...."
2: If you see a pyramid of cans, always take the bottom one.
1: Actually buy some food.
More Things to do when ordering a pizza
1. Put them on hold.
2. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented...
3. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
4. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
5. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be 10.99; please pull up to the first window."
6.Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
7.Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
8. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her
9. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
10. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"
11. When they say, "Will that be all?" snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
12. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
13. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
14. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
Things to do at wal-mart
1. Get boxes of condoms randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see whathappens.
5. Put MM's on lay away.
6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone."
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'
11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME PICK ME"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO NO Its those voices again."
15. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud....."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here"
THE FIFTEEN MOST ANNOYING THINGS TO DO ANYWHERE
(that REALLY get on people's nerves)
1. Stare at someone while making tons of faces (i.e., a mad face, a big grin, etc.). Change every five seconds.
2. Chomp really loudly on chips and say to the person nearest to you, while chewing, "You know what is so annoying? When people chomp while they eat. I mean, they sound like freaking cows"
3. In an elevator, take one look at another person and scream. When they look at you, quickly look up at the ceiling and whistle. When they look away, start to scream again.
4. When shopping with a friend, point at a lady and say to your friend (loud enough for the lady to hear), "Ugh I am SO glad I'm not that ugly"
5. Walk around mumbling, "C'mon, (your name), you can figure this out What is the square root of 5 times 9 divided by 76 plus 19 in Egyptian?" When people look at you strangely, growl like a dog at them and bark.
6. Walk up to the counter at a fast food place and demand a refund. Go on and on about how much you need a refund and how unhappy you are. When they ask what product you need a refund on, act confused and say, "What are you talking about?" If they repeat the question, act annoyed an say, "Look, lady/sir, I just wanna order my food"
7. When working on a test in class, raise your hand and ask the teacher for the answer to question number 4. When she/he refuses to tell you the actual answer, start to cry and yell, "I want my mommy" When they act confused, scream, "I'm telling on you" and storm out of the room.
8. Walk around in a mall, and all of a sudden, drop to the floor and moan loadly. After a moment, hop to your feet, bow, and continue on your way as if nothing happened.
9. Walk around a store wearing a Santa hat and ringing a bell saying, "Yes, sir, yes ma'am, I collect money Any donations to add to my collection are greatly appreciated."
10. Run up to a complete stranger and say excitedly, "Oh, hi I've missed you so much So, what's been going on? How're the kids?" When they respond, frown and back away, muttering, "Who are you? Stay away from me"
11. Put raisins in your roommates toothpaste.
12. Bring a copy of the "National Enquirer" into an elevator/store/mall, etc., and walk up suspiciously to a person. Then glance at a page in the "Enquirer" and back at the person with a terrified look on your face. Grab the persons hand and scream, "Ah-ha Now I've got you, Muchacho Nerowlskaloparachonansos"
13. Sit on a park bench like a normal person, then all of a sudden, smack your hands over your ears and yell, "NO Marshmallow fluff is NOT taking over the world" Take your hands away and let out a relieved sigh and mutter, "There, the voices stopped."
14. Rock back and forth nervously, shaking, then demand that people give you thirty seven packets of ketchup or you'll get a restraining order put against them.
15. Grin crazily at someone, then say insanely, "I enjoy eating toilet paper."
TEN THINGS TO DO AT A FASTFOOD RESTURANT
1. when making your order inside or out start your order then say waite a minutes and then change it again keep doing this repeatedly (example:"yes id like a burger and fries no wait id like chicken sandwitch no wait...keep going)
2. go through the drive through walking
3. ask for only one question package then go back every other minute asking for only one more
4. right before you leave when theres a lot of customers start screaming there's a hair on my burger
5. on the self refill things fill your cup up with one kind of pop then dump it out and fill it up with another keep going until someone says something to you.
6. order in a different language
7. pour out all the salt on the table and yell "its snowing its snowing"
8. ask the the people working if they could put more hamburger on this ketchup.
9. when ordering burp or fart at least ten times then look at the people you dont know next to you and say this isnt the time or place for releaving your gas the bathroom is right over there
10. sit down by yourself and just laugh histarically
More stuff to do at wal-mart
1. Re-arange the Barbie and GI Joes as you see fit.
2. Put Tic-Tacs on layaway.
3. Play a game of indoor freeze tag
4. play monkey in the middle using items from other people's shopping carts
5. (when you're out of the store) Call K-Mart and ask for Mia Buttreeks, the whole store will congradulate you on that one
6. Get a soft drink, put a little umbrella in it, and lay around in the padio furnature department until somebody kicks you out
7. Have a casual conversation with the manaquins
8. gather your friends and do the hustle
Ways to have fun at the expense of others
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the background color on your E-mail so that all your E-mail correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE..
21. type only in lowercase.
22. don't use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up,"and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera
Funny ways to annoy and freak out your neighbor
? Spy on them
? Train their dog to play dead, and use it.
? Go to their house and knock on the front door, then run around to the back and knock on that door. Repeat with all doors. (but make sure they are on opposite sides of the house.) Don8217;t let them catch you. After about 5 minutes, knock on the front door and ask them why it took so long to answer the door.
? Call them from THEIR doorstep.
? Leave toilet paper or deodorant on the top of their car.
? When they hang out their clothes to dry, make sure they aren8217;t watching, and keep their clothes wet by spraying them with water. They8217;ll never dry if you keep doing it all afternoon.
? Mow the lawn every day.
? Hide their newspaper in the bushes.
? If you want to go see them, drive your car over to their driveway and park in it.
? Park in their driveway instead of yours.
? Ask them for their number/address.
? 8220;Bake8221; them a mud pie when they first move in.
? Ask them if you can sit on their porch and read the paper (read National Enquirer or something that isn8217;t true). Then about a couple pages into the newspaper, (if they are standing by you) look at your newspaper, then glance at them, point and say 8220;I got you now8221;
? Repeatedly ask them if they work for the CIA, FBI, or something like that, especially if they hardly ever come out of the house.
? If they are cooking on the grill, throw on a hamburger or steak and thank them for being such a kind neighbor.
? If they have a pool, go swimming in it everyday without asking.
? Blast your music.
? Send them snail mail.
? Talk to the trees in their yard.
? Dress up their dog or cat.
? Draw on their sidewalk with chalk.
? Eat at their house for supper every night for a month. Insist that neighbors should do that all the time.
? Pick them weeds.
? Ask them for flour, sugar, eggs. Keep coming back because they didn8217;t give you enough.
? Call them and pretend to be a telemarker without disguising your voice.
? Paint pumpkins to look exactly like your neighbor.
? Keep track of everything they do outside for a month. Ask them what they are doing so you can keep a record. Give the records to them for Christmas.
? Train your dog to only go to the bathroom in your neighbor8217;s yard.
? Have Easter egg hunts in their yard8212;in July.
? When they are outside gardening, act like you are someone off of the Discovery Channel or broadcasting a baseball game by announcing their every move.
? Walk up to their doorstep and ask them for a ride home.
? Leave a pile of poop on their sidewalk.
? Call them and tell them that their dog ran away, even if they don8217;t have a dog.
? Run over to their house really excited every time the weather changes and walk home with your head down and act really sad when they don8217;t care.
? Set off their car alarm every time you get a chance.
? Switch their mellow, classical car tape with your Eminem or Limp Bizkit tape. (Put it in the stereo and turn up the volume to full blast, so they get a little surprise when they turn it on.)
? Act like you8217;re madly in love with them. Break the news to them two months later that you don8217;t want to see them anymore.
? Put everything you own outside and pretend to have a yard sale or you8217;re moving out.
? Shovel all the snow from their yard onto their sidewalk.
? Have a seance on the sidewalk.
More theatre pranks
1. When waiting to buy your tickets, ask if you can cut in front of the person in front of you. if and when they say no, wait two minutes, and ask again. keep doing this until you reach the ticket person.
2. When buying your tickets, order one for each movie and ask if they think you can make it to all of them on time.
3. When buying the tickets order one for a movie, then change your mind after they have given it to you. Repeat until you have gotten through all the movies and say, "Oh, i think i'll just stick to the first one."
4. When standing in line for snacks, glare at everyone and yell, "Do you know how much fat there is in all of this? You people should be ashamed of yourselves, sitting on your butts in a movie theater and then eating 4 million calories before you leave" When it is your turn, order an extra large soda, popcorn, 2 hotdogs, 3 orders of nachos, ice cream, and candy.
5. When the snack bar person asks what you want, say, "You. And put extra butter on that"
6. When finding a seat, try and take up as many as possible and when someone tries to sit down say, "What's wrong with you? Can't you see that Tom is sitting there?"
7. During the previews, keep saying, "This is bull Show the movie"
8. When the movie starts, yell, "Wait I want to see more previews"
9. During the movie, keep whispering to the person next to you. When the shush you, shush them back and say, "Will you please shut up? I'm tryhing to watch the movie"
10. Laugh obnoxiously 5 seconds after teh joke is over, and keep laughing for about 10 seconds after everyone has stopped. (works well in dramas or tragedies that have virtually no comedy.)
11. During the movie, suddenly yell, "These people can't act for their lives I could do much better" Then proceed to stand right in front of the screen and mimic the actors.
12. Keep talking to your invisible friend next to you, saying things like "Dont you hate it when people talk during movies?"
13. When leaving the theater, spill the rest of your food all over the floor and seat, leaving a trail to the door.
14. When leaving, cut into the line of people waiting to buy tickets and ask the ticket person for his or her number. (works well if there is a visible age gap or if the ticket taker has a ring on their finger indicated marriage)
50 Fun things to do in a Mall
1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the
fountain.
2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if
they make your butt look big.
3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully
volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream 'MY SHOELACES
AAAGH'
6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated
CD prices are in pesos or rubles.
7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them
unsellable.
8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King...
9. ...but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that
they're 'astronaut food'.
10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton's around while reading aloud
from 'Dianetics.'
11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.
12. Ask a salesman why a particular tv is labeled black and
white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees,
give him a strange look and say, 'You mean you really can't
see it?'
13. Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of
Sears.
14. Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion
dummy in clothes departments, occasionally screaming without
warning.
15. Test mattresses in your pajamas.
16. Ask the tobaccanist if his hovercraft is full of eels.
17. If you're patient, stare intently into a surveillance
camera for an hour while rocking from side to side.
18. Sprint up the down escalator.
19. Stare at static on a display tv and challenge other
shoppers whether they, too, can see the 'hidden picture'.
20. Ask appliance personnel if they have any tvs that play
only in Spanish.
21. Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda.
22. Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a
particular saw cuts through bone.
23. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on
gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.
24. Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner.
25. Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist.
26. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray
them with your own bottle of Eau de Swane.
27. Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store,
insisting that you lost a contact lens.
28. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties
matches the color of your beard.
29. In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, 'I
see London, I see France...'
30. Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of
shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps.
31. Play the tuba for change.
32. Ask the Hammond organ dealer if he can play 'Jesus Built
My Hotrod'.
33. Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and
perform gastric versions of Jingle Bells for admiring
onlookers.
34. Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold
remedy will 'give you a really wicked buzz'.
35. Ask the personnel at Pier 1 Imports whether they have 'any
giant crap made out of straw'.
36. 'Toast' plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake
fireplace display.
37. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as
religious tracts.
38. Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to
push you around in it.
39. Change every tv in the electronics department to a station
showing 'Saved by the Bell'. Chant the dialogue in a robotic
voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of
the sets.
40. Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture
department wearing a Navy uniform. Occasionally run around in
circles yelling 'scratch one flattop'
41. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant
and scornfully announce that none of them are 'leakproof'.
42. 'Play' the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make
lots of explosion noises.
43. Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up
and down.
44. Pay for all your purchases with two-dollar bills to
provoke arguments over whether they're real.
45. If it's Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on your
lap.
46. Answer any unattended service phones that ring in
department stores and say 'Domino's.'
47. Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally
pausing to scratch yourself.
48. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.
49. Show people your driver's license and demand to know
'whether they've seen this man.'
50. Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen
minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know
why it hasn't turned blue yet.
Try to get people to sign a petition to ban all use of 'Dihydrodegn Monoxide" for the reasons
1.) it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2.) it is a major component in acid rain
3.) it can cause severe burns in it's gaseous state
4.) accidenntal inhalation can kill you
5.) it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
6.) it contributes to erosion
7.) it has been founnd in tumors of terminal cancer patients
See how many actually know that its water
REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
10. Get overly hyper. Jump up and down the halls. Giggle a lot. Make sure someone on the staff is watching. Do this often.
9. Proceed normally when ordering candy. When you get the candy, ask, "What about [insert any name here]'s candy?" Insist that [insert name here] is your poor friend that can't afford candy and that [insert name here] did, in fact order candy.
8. Order popcorn. As soon as the person puts it on the counter or hands it to you, "accidentally" spill it. If you're really daring, complain about their poor service.
7. When speaking to a ticket salesperson, insist that a movie from years ago is playing and that you want a ticket for it.
6. Gaze suspiciously at a staff member or manager for a while. Go up to him/her and ask, "Are you a stalker?" If they deny this, continue asking him/her the same question.
5. Act as if you have a crush on one of the staff members. Often pass by them giggling. Ask the person for their autograph, ask to marry them, anything along the lines of that. If the person is taking tickets, refuse to give them a ticket until they've given you a kiss, if you'd like.
4. The minute you step in, take a big breath and sing loud to any song that comes to mind. Dance with waiting customers.
3. Bring large crowds of friends [and their friends, and their friends' friends, etc.] to swarm the entrance lobby.
2. Insist that you had a pre-paid ticket or a pre-paid candy bar.
1. Hold a group activity that involves loud noises or many people. Such an activity is a conga-line.
Ways to make people think ur crazy
1. when walking bye a teacher in ur class start talking to ur self and when they look at u say "this is a private conversation if u dont mind."
2. when going on a road trip or just going somewhere far away look out the window and when someone looks at u make a really weird face then look away like nothing happend.
3.go into a walmart and buy a box of tampons and either go out into the parking lot or stay in the store and shoot them at ppl walking by...(open them and slam ur hand against the bottom) if u do it right they fly really far.
4. throw lemon heads at the movie theater screen.
5. walk in the middle of a street (not a main one) and when a car comes up behind u dont get out of its way just keep on walking in the middle and after awhile move (ppl get mad when u do this).
6. in the school halways or places where there r alot of ppl scream word phrazes that dont have a meaning like weasle butter or jelly snake.
7. wave to ppl u dont know and if they wave back wink and smile at them.
8. pretned ur reading a book in public and when someone walks by get up and follow them around for awhile.
9. (for girls or guys w/ long hair) go out in public and put ur hair up in pig tails, roll on of ur pant legs up and skip around all over the place.
10. get a white sheet (make sure its not see threw) rap it around ur body and run around yelling toga toga toga (its funnier in public)
Funny things to do when the pizza delivery dude comes
1. Put signs on your lawn saying "Please Deliver to Door"
2. Put signs on your lawn saying "The potatoes have gone", etc.
3. Pretend not to speak English
4. Write "insert here" on the outside of the mail slot
5. Pretend to be deaf
6. Insist on paying in pennies
7. Insist that they WERE 30 mins late
8. Dress up in your grandmothers clothes
9. Don't wear clothes
10. Play a kazoo, sax, trumpet or horn heralding the 'Pizza King's arrival
11. Act scared of the sound of the doorbell
12. Tell the delivery guy that you are his new master
13. Say "I'm not hungry anymore"
14. Invite him in to join you
15. If he doesn't, follow him back to the pizza place, honking the tune in which you heralded his arrival
16. Eat the pizza at the door
17. Immediately place the pizza in your pants singing "hot hot hot"
18. You've seen American Pie right?
who said you had to limit urself 2 apple?19. Open the box and complain to the delivery boy that they're is no mold to shave and no bubbles to pop.
20. Pretend to be a cop
21. Pretend to be a criminal
22. Pretend to be any animal of your choice
23. Dance with the delivery boy
24. Kiss the delivery boy
25. Answer the door, RIGHT from the shower
Fun things to do in public
1. When a really large person if backing up, make beeping sounds.
2. While someone is giving a really boring speech in class, start bobbing your head like a parakeet.
3. Give a seagull in the parking lot some TUMS and watch it blow up.
4. Walk through a store switching price tag stickers and watch people yell at the store clerk saying the product is cheaper.
5. In the elevator, lean against the button panel and pretend like you are deaf while everyone is yelling at you for going up and down.
6. Go up to a stranger and tell them that when you open up double stuff oreos your whole city fills up with cream. (even though the cream is hard)
7. While at McDonalds, pull through the drive thru and when they give you your food, make the nerdiest smile and say do you love to see me smile?
8. While at any fast-food place, order really expensive stuff and get out of line so the person in front of you pays for it
9. When at a store, fart really loud and point to the nearest person.
10. Tell everyone that you have a dog that talks english and that
Things to do when ur bored
1: Snap your fingers next to other peoples ears
and see how long it takes them to exploded.
2: Stand on your roof screaming your friends phone number
and see how long it takes them to answer.
3: Cover your kitchen floor in soap and water ,then strip down to your
underwear and have slidding races with your best friend.
4: Run out side and bark loudly until every dog in the neighborhood joins in,repeat every time the stop.
5: Stand in the middle of the street singing loudly,then when someone comes outside to see what is going on,stop and look around,and then walk away looking confused.
6: Sneak out of your bedroom window and then run around your house screaming loudly so everyone can hear you,"I'm free,I'm free."then go back inside your bedroom window and walkcalmly through the house like nothing ever happen,and if anybody ask,deny everything.
7: Go some place public and sit quitly and then scream as loud as you can,"WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY" then return to being quit
like nothing ever happened.
8: Put super glue on a siblings toothbrush.
9: Play frisbee with your older siblings new CDs.
10: Call up random people and see if how long it takes you to convince them your their long lost cousin.
Ways to piss off teachers
1. Call them names when they they have their back turned, and do it in a disguised voice, then when they ask about it, pretend it was the old man sitting in the back of the classroom and pretend you don't know what shes talking about when she says there is no guy.
2. Throw pencils in the ceiling above her/his desk.
3. Get the whole class to do this: whenever the teacher says a certain word, have everyone clap twice right after the word is said (examlpe: if the teacher teaches spanish, use the word por favor or something said often.)
4. Flip keys caps on the keyboard upside down.
5. Or just steal them.
6. Constantly click your pen, and when he/she yells at you, pretend that you weren't doing anything and threaten to go to the office for harassment.
7. Yell out phrases such as: "no I will not make out with you (and then say the teachers name)" or "You leg-spreadin, cum-suckin, pussy-licking, titty-flopping bitch".
8. Start talking to your pen or folder or notebook etc., and then when the teacher says something, totally deny the whole thing.
9. Have everyone in the class talk the whole time and not pay attention, and then when the teacher gets so mad that he/she calls the principle act like little angels and say that you have no idea what he/she is talking about.
10. Start talking in a foreign language (but not the language the teacher is teaching if any, or example: start talking french in spanish, or spanish in any classes like math or science).
15 WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF CLASS:
1. Bring a skillet and bacon to chem class, and use the Bunsen burner to make yourself a BLT.
2. Whenever you ask a question, stand up and pretend to talk into a mike.
3. Explain to your teacher, "This class would be so much more interesting if you were a BSB."
4. Memorize your teacher's outfit and wear the exact same thing the next day.
5. Ask, "Don't you think its kinda convienient that we only read books that you have already read?"
6. Every time anyone answers a question, say, "Is that your final answer?"
7. Hang a Do not disturb sign on your back.
8. Find out your teacher's first name, and start using it--all the time.
9. Wear your prom clothes to gym class.
10. Say you didn't do your homework because you're on a homework fast.
11. Answer all questions with Stinky, your homeade sock puppet.
12. Ask your teacher what he really wanted to do with his life.
13. Tell your teacher you can't take notes because your nails are drying.
14. In science class, start a game of "Spin the dissected worm."
15. Clear your throat every time your teacher says "um."
Things to do in an elevator
1. Say in a scared voice, "you're one of them, aren't you?" and back away. (when there's only 1 person in the elevator)
2. Turn on your CD player and sing along very loudly.
3. Stare at someone for a while and then yell, "Stop staring at me"
4. Bring a cell phone and mutter into it suspiciously, and say loudly "are you sure this line is safe?"
5. Point at someone and laugh hysterically, and when they look your way, pretend you're not doing anything.
6. Complain that your shoes are uncomfortable, take them off and ask someone to hold them for you.
7. Ask someone to push a floor button for you, and when they do scream, "NO NO YOU FOOL I WANTED 5"
8. Ask your invisible friend if they saw Friends last night, and talk about the highlights of the show.
9. Cower in the corner and whimper, scream every time the door opens.
10. Pretend you have extreme claustrophobia: Cling to the people near you and scream that the walls are closing in on you.
40 more things to do in an elevator
40. Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
39. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
38. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
37. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
36. Bring a chair along.
35. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
34. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
33. Do Tai Chi exercises.
32. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
31. Meow occasionally.
30. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
29. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
28. Play the harmonica.
27. Say "Ding" at each floor.
26. Lean against the button panel.
25. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
24. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
23. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other people "through" it.
22. Start a sing-along.
21. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
20. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
19. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
18. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
17. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming"
16. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
15. One word: Flatulence
14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness"
13. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
12. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
10. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
9. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, blasted, all of you just shut UP""
8. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
7. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
6. Wear "x-ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
5. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
4. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
3. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on"
2. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops"
1. Draw a little square on the floor and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
10 things to do in a grocery store
10: Yell out loud, "Food fight", and throw vegatables at unsuspecting people.
9: Put slices of cheese (like Kraft Singles)in a magazine and walk to where a
lot of people are. Open the magazine, make the cheese fall on the floor and yell, "I won I won I got the Super Jackpot"
8: If you see someone reaching for something, stand behind them and yell, "Don't touch that"
7: Fill up a shopping cart with food and leave it in the middle of an aisle with a sign saying, "Free Food"
6: Pretend you have a seizure.
5: Stick your head in one side of an aisle and cover it up with boxes or something, and when someone takes one, poke your head out and yell, "Peekaboo" or "Boo"
4: Wander down the aisles talking to your self saying, "I vunder vere zee veeners are..."
3: Get a cucumber and a knife, slice the cucumber into slices and put them over your eyes. Walk through the store and say, "Uhhhh...."
2: If you see a pyramid of cans, always take the bottom one.
1: Actually buy some food.
More Things to do when ordering a pizza
1. Put them on hold.
2. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented...
3. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
4. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
5. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be 10.99; please pull up to the first window."
6.Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
7.Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
8. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her
9. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
10. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"
11. When they say, "Will that be all?" snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
12. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
13. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
14. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
Things to do at wal-mart
1. Get boxes of condoms randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see whathappens.
5. Put MM's on lay away.
6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone."
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'
11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME PICK ME"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO NO Its those voices again."
15. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud....."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here"
THE FIFTEEN MOST ANNOYING THINGS TO DO ANYWHERE
(that REALLY get on people's nerves)
1. Stare at someone while making tons of faces (i.e., a mad face, a big grin, etc.). Change every five seconds.
2. Chomp really loudly on chips and say to the person nearest to you, while chewing, "You know what is so annoying? When people chomp while they eat. I mean, they sound like freaking cows"
3. In an elevator, take one look at another person and scream. When they look at you, quickly look up at the ceiling and whistle. When they look away, start to scream again.
4. When shopping with a friend, point at a lady and say to your friend (loud enough for the lady to hear), "Ugh I am SO glad I'm not that ugly"
5. Walk around mumbling, "C'mon, (your name), you can figure this out What is the square root of 5 times 9 divided by 76 plus 19 in Egyptian?" When people look at you strangely, growl like a dog at them and bark.
6. Walk up to the counter at a fast food place and demand a refund. Go on and on about how much you need a refund and how unhappy you are. When they ask what product you need a refund on, act confused and say, "What are you talking about?" If they repeat the question, act annoyed an say, "Look, lady/sir, I just wanna order my food"
7. When working on a test in class, raise your hand and ask the teacher for the answer to question number 4. When she/he refuses to tell you the actual answer, start to cry and yell, "I want my mommy" When they act confused, scream, "I'm telling on you" and storm out of the room.
8. Walk around in a mall, and all of a sudden, drop to the floor and moan loadly. After a moment, hop to your feet, bow, and continue on your way as if nothing happened.
9. Walk around a store wearing a Santa hat and ringing a bell saying, "Yes, sir, yes ma'am, I collect money Any donations to add to my collection are greatly appreciated."
10. Run up to a complete stranger and say excitedly, "Oh, hi I've missed you so much So, what's been going on? How're the kids?" When they respond, frown and back away, muttering, "Who are you? Stay away from me"
11. Put raisins in your roommates toothpaste.
12. Bring a copy of the "National Enquirer" into an elevator/store/mall, etc., and walk up suspiciously to a person. Then glance at a page in the "Enquirer" and back at the person with a terrified look on your face. Grab the persons hand and scream, "Ah-ha Now I've got you, Muchacho Nerowlskaloparachonansos"
13. Sit on a park bench like a normal person, then all of a sudden, smack your hands over your ears and yell, "NO Marshmallow fluff is NOT taking over the world" Take your hands away and let out a relieved sigh and mutter, "There, the voices stopped."
14. Rock back and forth nervously, shaking, then demand that people give you thirty seven packets of ketchup or you'll get a restraining order put against them.
15. Grin crazily at someone, then say insanely, "I enjoy eating toilet paper."
TEN THINGS TO DO AT A FASTFOOD RESTURANT
1. when making your order inside or out start your order then say waite a minutes and then change it again keep doing this repeatedly (example:"yes id like a burger and fries no wait id like chicken sandwitch no wait...keep going)
2. go through the drive through walking
3. ask for only one question package then go back every other minute asking for only one more
4. right before you leave when theres a lot of customers start screaming there's a hair on my burger
5. on the self refill things fill your cup up with one kind of pop then dump it out and fill it up with another keep going until someone says something to you.
6. order in a different language
7. pour out all the salt on the table and yell "its snowing its snowing"
8. ask the the people working if they could put more hamburger on this ketchup.
9. when ordering burp or fart at least ten times then look at the people you dont know next to you and say this isnt the time or place for releaving your gas the bathroom is right over there
10. sit down by yourself and just laugh histarically
More stuff to do at wal-mart
1. Re-arange the Barbie and GI Joes as you see fit.
2. Put Tic-Tacs on layaway.
3. Play a game of indoor freeze tag
4. play monkey in the middle using items from other people's shopping carts
5. (when you're out of the store) Call K-Mart and ask for Mia Buttreeks, the whole store will congradulate you on that one
6. Get a soft drink, put a little umbrella in it, and lay around in the padio furnature department until somebody kicks you out
7. Have a casual conversation with the manaquins
8. gather your friends and do the hustle
Ways to have fun at the expense of others
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the background color on your E-mail so that all your E-mail correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE..
21. type only in lowercase.
22. don't use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up,"and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera
Funny ways to annoy and freak out your neighbor
? Spy on them
? Train their dog to play dead, and use it.
? Go to their house and knock on the front door, then run around to the back and knock on that door. Repeat with all doors. (but make sure they are on opposite sides of the house.) Don8217;t let them catch you. After about 5 minutes, knock on the front door and ask them why it took so long to answer the door.
? Call them from THEIR doorstep.
? Leave toilet paper or deodorant on the top of their car.
? When they hang out their clothes to dry, make sure they aren8217;t watching, and keep their clothes wet by spraying them with water. They8217;ll never dry if you keep doing it all afternoon.
? Mow the lawn every day.
? Hide their newspaper in the bushes.
? If you want to go see them, drive your car over to their driveway and park in it.
? Park in their driveway instead of yours.
? Ask them for their number/address.
? 8220;Bake8221; them a mud pie when they first move in.
? Ask them if you can sit on their porch and read the paper (read National Enquirer or something that isn8217;t true). Then about a couple pages into the newspaper, (if they are standing by you) look at your newspaper, then glance at them, point and say 8220;I got you now8221;
? Repeatedly ask them if they work for the CIA, FBI, or something like that, especially if they hardly ever come out of the house.
? If they are cooking on the grill, throw on a hamburger or steak and thank them for being such a kind neighbor.
? If they have a pool, go swimming in it everyday without asking.
? Blast your music.
? Send them snail mail.
? Talk to the trees in their yard.
? Dress up their dog or cat.
? Draw on their sidewalk with chalk.
? Eat at their house for supper every night for a month. Insist that neighbors should do that all the time.
? Pick them weeds.
? Ask them for flour, sugar, eggs. Keep coming back because they didn8217;t give you enough.
? Call them and pretend to be a telemarker without disguising your voice.
? Paint pumpkins to look exactly like your neighbor.
? Keep track of everything they do outside for a month. Ask them what they are doing so you can keep a record. Give the records to them for Christmas.
? Train your dog to only go to the bathroom in your neighbor8217;s yard.
? Have Easter egg hunts in their yard8212;in July.
? When they are outside gardening, act like you are someone off of the Discovery Channel or broadcasting a baseball game by announcing their every move.
? Walk up to their doorstep and ask them for a ride home.
? Leave a pile of poop on their sidewalk.
? Call them and tell them that their dog ran away, even if they don8217;t have a dog.
? Run over to their house really excited every time the weather changes and walk home with your head down and act really sad when they don8217;t care.
? Set off their car alarm every time you get a chance.
? Switch their mellow, classical car tape with your Eminem or Limp Bizkit tape. (Put it in the stereo and turn up the volume to full blast, so they get a little surprise when they turn it on.)
? Act like you8217;re madly in love with them. Break the news to them two months later that you don8217;t want to see them anymore.
? Put everything you own outside and pretend to have a yard sale or you8217;re moving out.
? Shovel all the snow from their yard onto their sidewalk.
? Have a seance on the sidewalk.
More theatre pranks
1. When waiting to buy your tickets, ask if you can cut in front of the person in front of you. if and when they say no, wait two minutes, and ask again. keep doing this until you reach the ticket person.
2. When buying your tickets, order one for each movie and ask if they think you can make it to all of them on time.
3. When buying the tickets order one for a movie, then change your mind after they have given it to you. Repeat until you have gotten through all the movies and say, "Oh, i think i'll just stick to the first one."
4. When standing in line for snacks, glare at everyone and yell, "Do you know how much fat there is in all of this? You people should be ashamed of yourselves, sitting on your butts in a movie theater and then eating 4 million calories before you leave" When it is your turn, order an extra large soda, popcorn, 2 hotdogs, 3 orders of nachos, ice cream, and candy.
5. When the snack bar person asks what you want, say, "You. And put extra butter on that"
6. When finding a seat, try and take up as many as possible and when someone tries to sit down say, "What's wrong with you? Can't you see that Tom is sitting there?"
7. During the previews, keep saying, "This is bull Show the movie"
8. When the movie starts, yell, "Wait I want to see more previews"
9. During the movie, keep whispering to the person next to you. When the shush you, shush them back and say, "Will you please shut up? I'm tryhing to watch the movie"
10. Laugh obnoxiously 5 seconds after teh joke is over, and keep laughing for about 10 seconds after everyone has stopped. (works well in dramas or tragedies that have virtually no comedy.)
11. During the movie, suddenly yell, "These people can't act for their lives I could do much better" Then proceed to stand right in front of the screen and mimic the actors.
12. Keep talking to your invisible friend next to you, saying things like "Dont you hate it when people talk during movies?"
13. When leaving the theater, spill the rest of your food all over the floor and seat, leaving a trail to the door.
14. When leaving, cut into the line of people waiting to buy tickets and ask the ticket person for his or her number. (works well if there is a visible age gap or if the ticket taker has a ring on their finger indicated marriage)
50 Fun things to do in a Mall
1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the
fountain.
2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if
they make your butt look big.
3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully
volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream 'MY SHOELACES
AAAGH'
6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated
CD prices are in pesos or rubles.
7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them
unsellable.
8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King...
9. ...but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that
they're 'astronaut food'.
10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton's around while reading aloud
from 'Dianetics.'
11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.
12. Ask a salesman why a particular tv is labeled black and
white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees,
give him a strange look and say, 'You mean you really can't
see it?'
13. Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of
Sears.
14. Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion
dummy in clothes departments, occasionally screaming without
warning.
15. Test mattresses in your pajamas.
16. Ask the tobaccanist if his hovercraft is full of eels.
17. If you're patient, stare intently into a surveillance
camera for an hour while rocking from side to side.
18. Sprint up the down escalator.
19. Stare at static on a display tv and challenge other
shoppers whether they, too, can see the 'hidden picture'.
20. Ask appliance personnel if they have any tvs that play
only in Spanish.
21. Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda.
22. Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a
particular saw cuts through bone.
23. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on
gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.
24. Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner.
25. Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist.
26. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray
them with your own bottle of Eau de Swane.
27. Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store,
insisting that you lost a contact lens.
28. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties
matches the color of your beard.
29. In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, 'I
see London, I see France...'
30. Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of
shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps.
31. Play the tuba for change.
32. Ask the Hammond organ dealer if he can play 'Jesus Built
My Hotrod'.
33. Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and
perform gastric versions of Jingle Bells for admiring
onlookers.
34. Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold
remedy will 'give you a really wicked buzz'.
35. Ask the personnel at Pier 1 Imports whether they have 'any
giant crap made out of straw'.
36. 'Toast' plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake
fireplace display.
37. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as
religious tracts.
38. Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to
push you around in it.
39. Change every tv in the electronics department to a station
showing 'Saved by the Bell'. Chant the dialogue in a robotic
voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of
the sets.
40. Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture
department wearing a Navy uniform. Occasionally run around in
circles yelling 'scratch one flattop'
41. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant
and scornfully announce that none of them are 'leakproof'.
42. 'Play' the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make
lots of explosion noises.
43. Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up
and down.
44. Pay for all your purchases with two-dollar bills to
provoke arguments over whether they're real.
45. If it's Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on your
lap.
46. Answer any unattended service phones that ring in
department stores and say 'Domino's.'
47. Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally
pausing to scratch yourself.
48. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.
49. Show people your driver's license and demand to know
'whether they've seen this man.'
50. Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen
minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know
why it hasn't turned blue yet.
Try to get people to sign a petition to ban all use of 'Dihydrodegn Monoxide" for the reasons
1.) it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2.) it is a major component in acid rain
3.) it can cause severe burns in it's gaseous state
4.) accidenntal inhalation can kill you
5.) it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
6.) it contributes to erosion
7.) it has been founnd in tumors of terminal cancer patients
See how many actually know that its water
REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
ROFLMAO doesnt quite work here, 10 mins later im still laughing :D
i really can't be arsed to read all that
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