Not The F1 News

Taking from Planetf1.com

Not The F1 News
Saturday 11th August 2007

Fantasy F1 - Win a trip to Monaco!
It's not too late, point scoring starts at the Bahrain GP. Click here.

Nigel Mansell's been endearing himself to Jenson's crew, Mercedes have had to re-shoot the Hamilton vs Alonso TV ad, Michael Schumacher has a delightful surprise for Jean Todt and Nigel Stepney comes up with a shock revelation.


Making Plan For Nigel
Nigel Mansell has made himself very popular in the Honda team by have a very public dig at Jenson Button.

"He's got a great reputation for partying and that's taken the edge off," said the former heavyweight Brummie F1 driver. "He's a typical example of too much, too soon."

However Honda boss, Nick Fry, was having none of it.

"As far as we are concerned, Jenson has demonstrated outstanding professionalism and maturity in what has been a difficult time for the team," the Honda team boss said. "And at no time can I ever remember him being too fat to fit in the car we designed for him."



Gorillas Getting P***ed
As a ruse to put Scandinavian paparazzi off his scent, Kimi Raikkonen and his pals dressed up as gorillas on a fishing trip. However because of ongoing sponsorship commitments it soon became obvious which one Kimi was. He was the gorilla wearing the Tag Heuer watch and the Bridgestone baseball cap.



Mercedes' Bends
Mercedes have decided to cash in on the Lewis versus Alonso feud by adding scenes to their I can do anything better than you can TV advert. In the new scenes, which feature Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso trying to out-compete each other on the way to a hotel, Lewis drives Fernando off the road to demonstrate the new C-Class's safety cell, while Fernando's brake test of Lewis shows the car's automatic braking function. During the filming Fernando also tried out a series of hand gestures - which are optional on the C-Class.




Stewards Reject Complaints
There has been continuing controversy following the astonishing decision by stewards at the Hungaroring to take constructors' points away from McLaren. Critics have pointed out that Michael Schumacher was found guilty of blocking the entire field in Monaco qualifying in 2006 and that when stewards rejected his and the Ferrari team's explanation, he was sent to the back of the grid.

Following the intra-team squabble in Hungary, which delayed nobody but McLaren, journalists asked why the team were deducted 15 points and why the two decisions were so inconsistent.

After the race Stewards refused to comment, though an FIA spokesman said they had built a really good fort at the sand table and after a nap would be continuing discussions in the soft play area.


Can't Get It Up The Grid Any More...?
The Renault team have denied that the lorry load of Viagara detained by Hungarian customs officials outside Budapest last Friday was destined for team boss Flavio Briatore.
"It's true that Flavio is fed up with not coming first any more," said a team spokesman, "but that's entirely to do with the racing team."


Schumi FINDS New Role At Ferrari
Ferrari have announced that they have at long last found a role for Michael Schumacher in the Scuderia set-up after the former World Champion struggled to find a niche. From now on he will dress up as heroes of the American music industry at all the races he visits. At the European GP, sporting a shirt bought at the Grand Ol' Opry in Nashville he chose Country and Western legend Hank Williams. In Turkey he will arrive as Elvis, at Monza Jon Bon Jovi, and in China he will imitate Madonna on the 1987 Who's That Girl tour. Jean Todt has already agreed to buy the dress for a six-figure sum.


And finally, in the latest twist in the Stepneygate saga, Nigel Stepney has denied ever working for Ferrari



LOL at the Renault's spokesman

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HakkF1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gorillas Getting P***ed
> As a ruse to put Scandinavian paparazzi off his
> scent, Kimi Raikkonen and his pals dressed up as
> gorillas on a fishing trip. However because of
> ongoing sponsorship commitments it soon became
> obvious which one Kimi was. He was the gorilla
> wearing the Tag Heuer watch and the Bridgestone
> baseball cap.

LOL!

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