Porno?

"Are you ready? It's coming, it's coming......"or words to that effect). No, not a grubby under the counter bongo vid, but ITV's James Allen squawkings as the lights turned to red! Yes Ellis, you are correct, the bloke is an absolute tosser. Admittedly the feed from the dirctors in Sepang was pretty dire, but James' ramblings made it even worse. Last year I actually enjoyed his commentary with Martin, but now he's got a free rein he seems to have contracted verbal diaorreah(spellchecker please),TRYING to be funny and a smartarse. I'm seriously considering giving up th ole Lambert and Butlers and investing the money in SKY!

Yo Sup

:D

Yes i agree!!!

I watched DigitalF1+ and its bloody amazing!!! No James Allen

I hate ITV. It sounds liek someone left the vacum cleaner on, cos when James Allen talks theres a loud 'sucking noice' (especially when its to do with MS!)




Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps

Yo Sup

btw? Whys this thread called porno? Let me, guess, James had another orgaism watching MS? :p




Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps

If you read the first sentence you'll understand the strange thread name. Put ITV on at 2 o' clock just to watch the start then all will become apparent. Then put the TV on mute and listen to some good music and enjoy the inept director missing everything of interest on the track. I must admit when Murray said the time had come to retire I agreed, as he was getting lost with strategies quite often and making some races hard to follow. But he's an enthusiast first and foremost which always shone through, and I prefer that to some smartarse gobbing off.

P.S I'd hate to wash James' underpants after a good MS race - YUK! - :=)

Yo Sup

Beware guys, when i said James was crap i got my hwead buttin off, expect the same

Hes a complete prat!! He should be the commentator!!

Get F1Digital+ its great! Ben Edwards and John Watson give UNbiast commentary without having orgasims




Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps

yes i have to agree here too.

is it just me or did you guys hear him say "easy peasy chocolate sqweezy" when MS made an overtaking manouver?

Yo Sup

Did he say that? Bloody hell.....

Did he mention american spys again? Or bout MS haircut? Did he talk bout F1? Or cars? Or Sepang? Or anything remotly interesting?




Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps

Yes he did spout that! The one that sticks in my mind(or throat) is the reference in qualifying about something being tight, then added, as tight as Martin's trousers! Is this F1 for the slightly dense. And another thing: Jim "Satan" Rosenthal, please stop using Americanisms to try to make you sound interesting..Polesitters and straightaways belong in CART(Which I do like too). Martin Brundle would do us all a favour if he twatted JA during the race with his mike!

I don't mind him. He's a bit nerdy, but at least he gets excited when something happens. Dull commentators are the worst form of commentators. I still think he will get better, though.

I totally agree with you Zcott. I don't think he shows any kind of bias towards Schumacher. If he said something complimentary about Montoya all the time, then this thread wouldn't exist. He will improve with time.

And btw, John Watson is the most biased commentator I've ever heard. Tom Boardman from the BTCC blatently payed the BBC to make him and Charlie Cox say nice things about him all the time. I don't like Watson at all as a commentator.




HISTORIC BTCC VIDEOS

hear his silly laugh when bernoldi overtook schumacher?would you hear that if it had been itv's favourite coulthard?the blokes is a complete tosser and thats being nice!

Yo Sup

"I don't think he shows any kind of bias towards Schumacher."

WTF? How can you say that? Whenever he opens his mouth to talk bout MS all we hear is this loud sucking noise!!!!!!!! James SHUT UP!

He like MS own personall arse kisser!!!

"So we have talked bout haircuts, stealth cars, US spys, Yoong getting anighthood, pit men being usuless, extra grand prixs.

Did he talk bout the race at all? Except when he pleasured himself when Schumacher passed JPM"

Remember? F1 commentators speak bout F1 not all this crap. Yeah yeah its hard to talk nout F1 when theres nothing going on but Ben Edwards and Watson managed it! Why cant james? Oh thats right, hes too busy trying to get his head up micheals arse!

Not biast towards MS? So when DC car failed in OZ and DC controlled it under the saftey car but had to go stright on explain why James jumped in and said "terrible driving error from DC".

If it had been MS he would have said "no, theres something wrong with the car martin"

When JPM passed MS Allen didnt seem too impressed but the guy went bloody nuts with excitment when MS repassed

When he commentated in the pits he was never out of the Ferrari garage (this is cos hes waiting for MS to come back so he kiss up to his face evn more)

John Watson is SLIGHTLY bias. He said "In my opinion MS is the best in F1". Not the "in my opinion". James just comes out and says "nobodys close to him" which clearly isnt true after what we seen today!!! Hes much better than James 'orgaism' Allen

James is bloody prick! How come DC manager is Brundle and hes never bisat at all?

I KNOW im gona get moaned at for this but i think people are begining to agree with me




Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps

He just doesnt get excited when someone goes off, eg when Irvine had a broken wing and went off they just said "and that's a jaguar on the grass" ZERO EXCITEMENT. Also, James did get confused about positions around pitstops, especially where RB was. Not a fan, sorry.
Chris J

Yo Sup

With Digital you cant be, you get the timing at the bottom and a whole channel of timing and pit etc...

How can you get confused so much? Theres loads of imformation all be updated constantly to give real time positions. But suppose, more than 5 letters is too much for James.




Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps

<<So we have talked bout haircuts, stealth cars, US spys, Yoong getting anighthood, pit men being usuless, extra grand prixs.>>

Murray strayed off topic occasionally, too....

<<So when DC car failed in OZ and DC controlled it under the saftey car but had to go stright on explain why James jumped in and said "terrible driving error from DC".>>

I initially thought it was a driving error. Several cars went off at that corner. Looked like he had made a mistake. And I am rather sure he'd say the same about Michael had it been Michael.

<<When JPM passed MS Allen didnt seem too impressed but the guy went bloody nuts with excitment when MS repassed>>

I recall him being pretty impressed. Mind you, when MS passed JPM, there was a lot of build up to it.

<<Also, James did get confused about positions around pitstops, especially where RB was.>>

And Murray didn't....?!

Yo Sup

New name

"James 'suck up, ares kissing, zero excitement, tlak bout anything but F1' Allen




Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps

Yo Sup

"P.S I'd hate to wash James' underpants after a good MS race - YUK! - :=)"

lol Kev!!

"Martin Brundle would do us all a favour if he twatted JA during the race with his mike!"

LOL again!!! I really want to be watching ITV when he does that!!! It would sound so funny

James - " And here he is, Micheal schumacher, the man, the god *thump*....."
Martin - " James shut up eh"




Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps

Yo Sup

Lets see the list

In two races Allen has talked bout

haircuts
stealth cars
US spys
Yoong getting anighthood
pit men being usuless
extra grand prixs
MS being God (which he clearly isnt)
Martins trousers
Pornos (or thats what it sounds like)

And of course his now, getting famous orgasims.




Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps

*orgasms

on the subject of bias though you could argue even good old murray was a bit biased towards damon hill