just for the sake of it ...

Vader: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the
horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he
still obstacle your passage, then tootle him with
vigor. If honorable horse obstacle your path, pull
over until he he pass away.
the GP3 community: WTF?
Vader: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.
If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is
then going alphabetically by national order.
the GP3 community: What kind of nonsense is this now? Are you totally nuts?
Vader: I can go on if you like
the GP3 community: Please ...
Vader: Well, if you want it ...
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of
repose in the boots of ascension.
the GP3 community: LOL
Vader: I tell you what, I like religious people who know the roots by the skin of their teeth
the GP3 community: ??
Vader: "Teeth extracted by the latest methodists"

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

"Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

"Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."

"Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: "Would you like to ride your own ass?"

***********

Wanted: Wife, any length, copper ...

***********

There once was a man called Montoya
Who said to MS, 'Well, I'll show ya!'
But he got penalized
For his opponent's vice
He said, 'MS, don't forget, that I owe ya!"

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

ok I know people have said it before but you are mad, but I like it. I'm similarly mad, and could also drone on like you (yes seriously!) but the thing is I just do it to my friends, the looks on their faces are just magic. I like to believe there's a logic behind my mad phrases and rantings, but sadly there isn't, which means that I am just plain mad.

Cai

Well, I like the look on your faces, too, when you read this.

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

aha but that's the thing, you can't, can you. That's what I thought for years and then I realised the laughing face was just my reflection in the monitor.

that's what you think. I can see you all. I am watching you, mind you. No, don't do this again, you naughty little boy! Put your hands back ON the desk, immediately!

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

bah! you did it again

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

this should go here:

The Italian Who Went To Malta

(to be read with an italian accent, preferably out loud)

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina Morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand . I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch. Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch. So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no @#$%& onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna @!#$. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna @!#$ on my bed. He say you better not @!#$ onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man and he call me sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.

censored bit = s.h.i.t

Welcome to the world of madness, Chris

LOL

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REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

Thank you thanks you so much

Firstly id like to thank my family for getting me through the difficult periods of insanity during my life. My friends for helping get into this world and of course my manager. Without those transport costs he payed for id never have got here. Thank you to Winzip for letting me be transportes and also John F kennedy for no reason whatsoever.

Thank you again, for my new home.

p.s. dont you find these earthlings funny creatures

You know what the funniest thing would be?

If winzip came in a .zip file

HAhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahha.......

Vader: "Chris get back into the world of insanity, you could hurt someone's feelings"

Chris *wonders back behind the bars*

Yo Sup

well XP can unzip things without winzip chris :P




Racing Is Life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting
Jesus may be able to heal the sick and bring the dead back to life, but he can't do shît for low fps

damn.........

G'day all..

That'd be like ringing someone to find out their phone number.

Or writing to someone for their address.

Well, as you said to me Vader, if you make only one person go 'LOL', then it is worth it. Everything after that is a bonus...

Ozzy